


One Hydra Head at a time

by lantia4ever



Series: Operation HTWYH [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Fluff, HYDRA is Screwed, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Slow Build, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark's potty mouth, Winter Soldier needs no hugs, bamf winter soldier, loosely based on Tsubasa Chronicles, protective winter soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5942704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After one too many relapses and wipes in the early 1950’s, Zola develops Project Wings in hopes of forever subduing Winter Soldier’s original personality and memories using very specific conditioning methods. Ten years later the Winter Soldier is the most efficient weapon Hydra owns and Project Wings is declared a success, its files archived away, forgotten.</p><p>	Until decades later when Hydra makes the ultimate mistake - orders the Winter Soldier to kill Captain America, which unbeknownst to them triggers Project Wings’s protocols. Now, they have a rogue Asset on the loose and its newest mission is to execute some major Hydra ass-whooping. </p><p>	And the fact the Asset chooses Tony Stark as his new Handler doesn’t help Hydra’s dilemma one bit. </p><p>OR</p><p>Bucky embarks on a Hydra killing spree in order to regain his lost memories. The Soldier is excited to have a new mission. And Tony Stark has no idea why is a Hydra assassin casually walking into his workshop asking for orders this early in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Initiate Operation Wings

**Author's Note:**

> My first WinterIron (and Avengers) fic ever O.o I will love any kind of feedback! ^^
> 
> So basically what happened is I re-watched Tsubasa Chronicles (a highly underrated manga/anime if you ask me :3) and thought what if Hydra managed to scatter Bucky's memories in a similar way it was done in the anime and to get them back, he would have to go on an unexpected journey! Two litres of Irish tea and a pack of butter biscuits later, this fic was born ;D WinterIron because REASONS! <3
> 
> Will be updated weekly (I hope ':D) NOT BETA'ed, I claim every single insult to the English grammar!
> 
> Enjoy the read! ^^ *offers tea and biscuits*
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the universe or any of the characters used in this story! All belongs to their respective owners!

[Chapter Soundtrack - Mikky Ekko - Who are you, really?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wl4UnxMlJY)

 

**oooOOOooo**

 

        The Soldier is confused. His usually blank, focused mind is betraying him with each new thought. He wasn’t supposed to have thoughts. The Handler does that. Not him.

        And then there were the images. Flashes of…something. Someone. A boy. Small and…fragile. Weak.

        _No. Not weak. Never!_

        He wants these visions to go away, because they bring…feelings. The Soldier doesn’t have feelings. But he can feel something now. And he doesn’t like it. He’s used to pain. That, he understands. But this is something else and…and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

        Listening from where he’s sitting in the cold Chair, it looks like his Handler and Mechanic don’t know either.

“It is not the Chair’s fault!”

        “He’s rebounded on the last three missions, Zola! The…upper management is getting restless. They want the Winter Soldier to be a success and so far they are not impressed.”

        “If we wipe him after every mission, the chances of the programming becoming corrupted will be too high! The Chair is not the problem, it’s the programming. It fails to respond to triggers that lead to associations with Barnes’s memories. One battered poster of Captain America was enough for Barnes to push through the cracks of the programming and almost regain control.”

        “Fix it then!”

        “It is not an easy fix. Even if there was one, the host’s memories would still be too intrusive. You see…the brain works in mysterious ways and we barely scratched the surface of what it is capable of! The Wipe is a temporary measure at best. It doesn’t erase his memories, it merely subdues them, puts them to the furthest shelf of this huge library. As long as they are there, the Soldier will always be in danger of falling prey to them.”

      “Then destroy them! Make them inaccessible somehow.”

        “Yes, yes…I have given it some thought and I think I might have found a solution. With the right conditioning, we could integrate the memories into the programming! Accessible only when a specific event is triggered! In this case, by something so improbable it will never happen. A number of improbable scenarios…two decades worth of memories should have multiple triggers, for convenience…yes.”

        “You are rambling now, Zola!”

        “It is going to be a very…very ambitious project. But if it succeeds, I can guarantee Hydra will not be disappointed in the result!”

        “Better get to work then.”

The Soldier would soon forget this conversation ever happened. He knows, because he somehow remembers what the Chair is supposed to do. It will bring back peace to his chaotic mind. Through pain and suffering. But it will bring peace. And the Soldier welcomes that.

        Something inside of him doesn’t though. Some…one?

        “Well then, Soldier. How about a new mission?”

        A mission! Yes, the Soldier can handle a mission.

        “Ah, good, I see you approve. Project…Wings. It’ll be our little secret, yes? Our very own secret mission. One you will never get to start or complete.”

        It made no sense to the Soldier, but he is not here to question his handlers. Receive missions, complete missions.

        “We should start with the innermost trigger then. No more calling you Soldier. It brings back…unnecessary memories. From now on, you are going to be the Asset. And once I am done with you, you will be nothing more but the Asset. Forever.”

        _No!_

        His own inner voice surprises him, but he has no time to wonder where it came from. Or from whom if not himself. The Chair is activated and his mind slips into a painful haze of nothingness.

 

**oooOOOooo**

 

        After many days spent with the Mechanic, the Soldier - no! - the Asset no longer feels like…the Asset no longer _feels_. And it pleases his Handlers greatly. So much that they no longer put him to the Chair after every mission. The Chair is the only thing the Asset can remember from before Operation Wings took effect.

        _Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission. Objective: Unknown. Orders: Unknown. Mission deadline: Unknown. Handler: Unknown._

        The Asset is confused by the lack of information he has about this assignment, but he must not show any sign of such thoughts.

        The Asset obeys, without questions. Otherwise it’s off to the Chair.

        So that is how the Asset operates, for how long he doesn’t know. He is given a mission. He completes it. He returns to his Handler. He is put to the ice. Over and over again. Only his Handlers change. Them and the world around him. Handlers get older, the world gets…newer. Guns more efficient, cars faster, phones smaller.

       A part of him is both scared and excited by the fact. A part of him that remains silent, like it’s hidden somewh - _Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission. Objective: Unknown. Orders: Unknown. Mission deadline: Unknown. Handler: Unknown._

       

        Until one day, it all comes crashing down. Because the Asset is no longer just an Asset. He’s someone else too. He can feel him…the other him…stir, as if waking up from a long, restless slumber. And he screams at the Asset, claws at him with all the strength he can muster - and the Asset can admire that.

        But he has a mission to complete. A man to kill. After that he can have his Handler deal with this stranger’s presence.

 

His mission fails. So he tells his Handler what happened. He tells him about the Mission calling the Asset ‘ _Bucky_ ’ - as if he knew the Asset. Impossible. The Asset has never met this man…yet, recognition sparks from someone within him. As expected, the Handler is displeased and he’s put to the Chair for the first time in a long while. Surely the Chair will take care of this problem.

        Only it doesn’t. The presence still lingers and it’s getting stronger. And this strong, blue-eyed man… _his mission_ …he’s the cause. He knows it, because…

        _Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission. Initiation Objective: Kill Captain America. Mission Objective: Unknown. Orders: Proceed with initiation objective. Mission deadline: Unknown. Handler: Unknown._

        Finally! The most important mission the Asset has ever been given reveals itself! He revels in the realization. He longed to complete this mission for decades. So he proceeds with the orders.

        He fights him - Captain America, the man who insists the Asset is someone else. The Asset doesn’t care. He must complete this mission no matter what. So when the man, shot, bloody and battered plummets to the ground from the still barely flying carrier a surge of satisfaction courses through him.

        _Objective complete._

       And that’s where something else courses through him. Horror. Absolute, sheer horror. He watches the man fall and suddenly that is all he can do.

Watch.

        His body moves on its own accord and it leaps straight after the fallen man. The Asset…no, he’s a Soldier! Of course! How did he…he _forgot_. He was always a Soldier. That was the one thing he had in common with his inner cohabitant. They were soldiers.

And so was the man he’s just killed. Captain America.

 _‘Steve!’_ his new…no, _old_ companion provides.

The Soldier is no longer in control as he dives into the cold waters and drags the barely breathing Missi… _Steve_ to the shore.

        He stares at the mess of a man lying on the ground, staring back at him with hazy blue eyes. He finds his companion is as confused as he is. Neither of them knows what to do. So the Soldier prompts him to leave. Leave before this man’s associates come looking for him.

        The other soldier obeys, his body moving away from the scene and into the shadows of the trees ahead.

        ‘Who are you, soldier?’ he asks the man in charge of their body.

        He doesn’t answer for a while. Not until he comes to a stop on the edge of the park, staring ahead at New York’s skyline. Feeling of familiarity spreads through them, one the Soldier cannot place.

        “James Buchanan Barnes,” he speaks out loud, voice hoarse, a strange accent coming alive.

        Yes. The Soldier remembers someone with that name. Of course he does!

        _Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission. Mission Objective: Recover James Buchanan Barnes. Orders: Detailed in file #465. Mission deadline: Unknown. Handler: Optional._

        No, no, no…that won’t do. The Soldier needs more information. He needs the details of the mission.

        _File #465_. Only a Handler provides mission files. _Handler optional_.

        The Soldier doesn’t know what to do with that. Handler was never optional. Soldier does not choose his Handler. But he must have one. He must…choose one.

        He provides the mission information to the other soldier. James. It is _their_ mission now. James Buchanan Barnes is the objective, after all. They better work together then.

        James doesn’t seem to be any more decisive than him though. If anything, he grows more confused with every second.

        _Useless_.

        The Soldier urges James to let him take over. If they are completing this mission, they will need a Handler.

        But first, the Soldier needs to know who this other him is. First, he needs information about this James Buchanan Barnes.

        And he knows just where to find them.

 

**oooOOOooo**


	2. Handler not optional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Soldier must choose a Handler. The chosen one is very confused by the situation. And Clint's got something coming for him, as does HYDRA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for all the AWESOME comments and kudos you've left me with in chapter one, you have no idea how much they've made my day! As promised, Sunday's the day, so here comes chapter two and I hope you'll enjoy it just as much as the first one ^^  
> Quick note about POVs and narration, just so you're not too confused by the sudden change - The Soldier's POV will always be written in a sort of third person present tense, because I think it fits him to narrate his perspective in third person :3 Everyone else's POV will be in first person present tense! ^^
> 
> And whaddya know! It's the dreaded day of the year again, so this fic comes with complimentary heart-shaped chocolates! \o/ And a shameless self-advertising for a special VD kinda!crack!WinterIron!fic I'll be posting later today! ^^ 
> 
> So Happy Valentine's Day & enjoy the read! *showers readers with chocolates and advertising pamphlets*

[**> >> Chapter 2 Soundtrack <<<** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFahBvGiP_8&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAWNM-2yOTRuBtFhkjAMi8S)

 

        The Soldier remembered following Steve around days before his Handlers included him in Project Insight. Recon was part of his previous mission and he was nothing if not thorough. That is how he knows he will find what he needs here.

        It is a museum of some sort and part of it seems to be dedicated to this Captain America - the only man who appears to know them. Who knows James. So the Soldier leads them there stealthily, merging into the crowds. He managed to obtain sufficient clothing to cover his bloodied uniform and the metal arm, but he still feels somewhat exposed without the mask.

        He walks up to a text panel with James's name written on it, their face - little younger and more clean looking - staring back at them from the picture.

        The Soldier let's James take over and reads the information from the shadows of their mind instead.

        The second world war, the Howling Commandos, HYDRA, Steve Rogers - Captain America, Bucky, KIA, dead...forgotten.

        Only he wasn't. Forgotten, perhaps, but James Buchanan Barnes was most definitely not dead. The strong but still confused soldier now controlling their body was a proof of that.

        "I don't remember," he whispers unnecessarily. The Soldier knows, he can feel the void where those memories were supposed to be. They are gone...but maybe not completely.

        _Mission objective: Recover James Buchanan Barnes._

        James might be back, but he is not yet recovered. That much the Soldier understands.

        _'We need a Handler. We need mission details,'_ the Soldier tells him.

        "Steve?" He offers with uncertainty. He seems to remember small bits and pieces – names, places…feelings. The Soldier doesn’t comprehend these fragments of scrambled memories. But he knows who _Steve_ is.

        James's best friend. The man who remembers James and who James somewhat remembers too. Could be a good option for a Handler. He is a leader and a highly skilled fighter if their recent fight is anything to go by. The file his previous Handler procured on him was also quite impressive. But there is no indication _Steve_ would be willing to assist the Soldier in his current mission. Steve would fight the Soldier instead if he’s in control – and that would be a hindrance the Soldier cannot afford.

        More so, the Soldier's metal arm is in need of maintenance. It was damaged in the fight and it hurts...a lot more than usual. He can barely move it and such incapacitation is unacceptable.

        "Howard Stark," James mutters, being well aware of what the Soldier was thinking about.

        Stark. He recognises the name. Because...

        _Operation Dying light. Mission objective: Eliminate target Howard and Maria Stark. Mission orders: Accidental set-up. Collateral damage acceptable. Mission status: Success. Completed._

        James flinches, backing away from the more and more crowded room.

        "You killed him...I...we killed him," he gasps and the Soldier can feel the panic rising, clouding his mind.

        _'He was my mission,'_ the Soldier states and it was clearly the wrong thing to say because James bolts. He pushes through the throng of visitors and outside of the building.

        The panic gets worse, his breathing erratic, so he stops on the busy street to gasp for air. The Soldier doesn't understand, so he takes over again.

        He can breathe now, but James continues to quietly sob at the back of his mind.

        _'Unacceptable,'_ he tells James and searches his memory for another option for a Handler. He doesn't need to search for long.

        _Anthony Edward Stark. Iron Man. Alliegence: The Avengers. Threat level: High. Orders: Don't engage. Take alive if necessary. Possible recruit for engineering. Current status: Alive. Enemy. Target of Project Insight._

        Yes. An engineer. Possible recruit. Mechanic and Handler at the same time.

        Perfect.

        He's made the decision and when James gives no sign of protest the Soldier makes his move.

        _Operation Wings. Handler: Anthony Edward Stark._

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

        "Jarvis?!" I look up, eyes narrowed.

        _"Sir?"_

        "Any reason you had Mark 101 re-painted?" I ask patiently, glancing back at the horrendous state the armor is in.

        _"I believe you have ordered a complete check-up. According to your protocol that also includes re-painting."_

        "What happened to the part of the protocol that specifically says 'red and gold'?"

        _"Mister Barton thought an update is in order,"_ Jarvis replied reluctantly.

        "Son of a...," I curse under my breath, sending daggers at the now bright purple armor. With pink hearts all over it! "Time to bring out project Stink Arrows, J."

        _"As you wish, Sir."_

        "If Oliver Queen thinks he can mess with the man then his tiny bird brain is tripping!"

        _"Um, Sir?"_

        "And don't think you're off the hook, Jarvis! I know for a fact you let him change the protocol because you fancy yourself a comedian, but we'll see how much fun you'll have after your next firmware update!" I threaten the AI, trying to think of a proper revenge.

        _"I shall be looking forward to it, but perhaps you would first like to know that..."_

        "Don't change the subject, J...and you don't encourage him, Dummy!" I scold the beeping bot whose making some hasty maneuver around me. "Schedule to paint it over again, Jarvis. _Red and gold_ , am I being clear enough? Red and _what the fuck_?" I blurt out, when my eyes land on a homeless looking figure standing behind my workbench. "Security breach...Jarvis?!" I sputter, thinking about calling for the armor...but there's no way in seven hells that I'm giving Jarvis footage of me in a bright purple-pink suit of armor, no thanks.

        _"I have been trying to tell you, Sir, that - "_

        "I require orders from file #465," the man says in a dark, almost robotic kinda voice.

        I have to make a double-take before I find my voice again. "Say whaaat?"

        "Maintenance is also necessary."

        I gape at him for a solid minute before I catch a glimpse of metal sticking out the left sleeve of his light blue jeans jacket.

        _No fucking way..._

        "Jarvis?! Why is the Winter Soldier standing in my workshop at...what time is it?"

        _"3:15 AM, Sir."_

        "How fitting," I utter and glare at the HYDRA assassin. Former assassin? Bucky? I don't even know.

        All I know is that I went to see Steve at the hospital and had the man not been looking like death I would have shouted obscenities at him about how the goddamn SHIELD goes rogue, HYDRA plans on killing Thor knows how many people - me included - and he doesn't call me until SHIELD is gone, day is saved...oh and a HYDRA assassin slash his very much alive best buddy Bucky fucking Barnes kicks his ass all the way to the ICU.

        Steve bolted out of the hospital earlier today and Nat told me...well, hinted that he and his newest best friend Bird brain 2.0 are going straight up hunting for Barnes.

        So apparently I'm not good enough to help the almighty Captain with anything whether it's saving the world from two most volatile spy agencies or tracking down a rouge amnesiac assassin.

        _Thanks for nothing, Steve._

        Question is, why is the Winter Soldier here and not with his best pal Steve. Oh, that's right...orders and maintenance _. Huh._

        "So...," I breathe out, eyeing the Soldier wearily. He looks...pretty awful. Those loose clothes hanging on his huge frame were probably scavenged from some trash bin, all dirty and...stinky. His long hair could land him the role of young Professor Snape with how greasy and unkept it is and those hollow eyes look tired and strained, as if the only thing keeping them open is sheer willpower. It probably is.

        On a positive note, he's not trying to kill me. Yay!

        "Orders and maintenance required," he repeats and continues staring at me absently.

        "Right...Jarvis? A little help here?"

        _"I am already searching through the leaked Hydra database,”_ he informs me and the Winter Soldier glares at the ceiling from where Jarvis’s voice comes in. The lack of drawn guns or knives tells me the assassin and Jarvis must have already conversed prior to entering the workshop. Might be the reason why J let the man inside in the first place. _“It would however seem that most of the Winter Soldier files were censored and some are missing."_

        Oh, Natasha. No wonder you're Steve's favorite now, stealing and erasing files...naughty girl.

        "What about that file...um...#465 was it?"

        Jarvis wastes no time and projects the file to the holo screen next to me.

        _"It is a file attached to Project Wings,"_ he informs me, adding files for the project on the screen too.

        And what I read makes my blood run cold.

        "Sons of bitches...," I curse silently. "No wonder you don't remember a thing," I say to myself more than him, while reading through the details of the conditioning methods Zola used to section off parts of this man's memories and lock them within the Winter Soldier programming.

        It's sickening.

        Worse than a lab rat. That's how HYDRA treated James Barnes in order to get their perfect weapon. Because hell, this guy was relentless. He gave HYDRA more trouble through the first decade of being the Winter Soldier than he was probably worth. He fought the programming with strength I can't even imagine. Which is why Zola came up with this project.

        A spark of anger ignites inside of me and it's all directed at HYDRA. And a little bit at Steve because he's not invited me on the HYDRA hunt. I could blow up a couple...thousand HYDRA outposts to hell right about now.

        The Soldier - because clearly this is not James Barnes - patiently waits while I process all this new information, only indication of alertness is the way his eyes narrow at Dummy each time he so much as beeps. The bot stopped a step away from him and keeps extending and retreating his head...arm...towards the man's metal hand. Not touching or even coming too close to actually touching the arm, but it's obvious Dummy is curious about it.

        Which makes two of us.

        I divert my attention to the file with orders and this time I end up losing my shit. This is a joke right. Because I double-over with laughter, tears springing out of my eyes and my chest hurts as I can't even breath.

        "You can't be serious, this is some major Loki kinda shit right there, holy crap!" I utter when I calm down a bit.

        That's where Dummy sprays me with the fire extinguisher and I can't even be mad at him because I do feel a bit on fire right now.

        After I wipe my face with an already dirty cloth I look the Soldier straight in the eyes...very confused eyes.

        "Um...sorry, it’s just...those orders in there? Both genius and absolutely stupid. Damn, Zola, you sly dog."

        Basically, Zola created an assortment of triggers, each unlocking certain parts of Barnes's memories. And a specific trigger that onsets the project itself. Of course he created this project...this mission for the purpose of it never initiating. So Barnes can never emerge from the prison of his mind.

        That's why the initiation order was to kill Captain America - Steve Rogers. Zola couldn't possibly know that the good Captain was still alive and would one day come out of the ice, so it was a safe option at the time. Not to mention someone decided at one point that since the project was a success they archived the files away and forgot all about them. That backfired real hard. If only Zola was still around to know just how much that screwed HYDRA right now.

        And the rest of the orders, the triggers... HYDRA is fucked.

        The really interesting part is that they didn't specify a Handler for this mission...which means that the Winter Soldier chose me all on his own. For practical reasons I guess, but holy crap is HYDRA fucked.

        Apparently, different high ranking HYDRA agents have either specific codenames or tattoos and _apparently_ to get Barnes’s memories back the Winter Soldier has to kill all of them! Project Wings in a nutshell? Let’s massacre HYDRA like it’s judgment fucking day!

        Did I mention how fucked HYDRA is?

        "What do I call you?" I blurt out at the unmoving man.

        "The Soldier."

        "Ominous...well, whatever you want. Is Barnes somewhere in there?" He should be, according to the file the initial goal was to release his personality and very basic instinctual knowledge.

        "He is."

        "Can I...talk to him?"

        "Negative."

        I squint at him suspiciously. "Why not?"

        The Soldier thinks about the answer for a while there. "He is...in distress."

        "Huh...guess I'd be too if I came back from seventy years of sleep with barely any memories and a Hydra programmed assassin alter ego controlling my body. _Huh_...so you're...protecting him. That's...interesting."

        I don't know what that says about the Soldier, but it makes me ease a little bit of that tension that gripped my body.

        "Let me get this straight. You want me to...take care of your arm...and give you orders from this file so Barnes can get his memories back," I summarize it and the Soldier nods.

        "Affirmative."

        I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face. "Well then, Soldier. Let's get this party started!" 

        Steve is going to be so pissed.


	3. Orders: Eliminate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Soldier wastes no time and after his arm is repaired and orders given, he sets out to complete the first of many objectives.
> 
> HYDRA is beginning to realize the Asset has not only gone rogue and started killing their own agents, but also seemed to have affiliated with the Avengers - namely with Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love and hope you'll enjoy the next chapter ^^
> 
> Madame Hydra makes an appearance - if you don't know who she is from the comics, don't worry about it, I won't be staying too true to her canon character anyway, so you won't miss out on anything major :3

**[>>> Chapter 3 soundtrack <<<](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk09tmeXpLmANZG3LNnG5Rnh__yzerCDR) **

 

He didn't know what to expect from his very first maintenance outside HYDRA, but he definitely didn't expect the absence of pain. There was pressure every now and then, an uncomfortable sting or subtle electrical current running wild...but there was no pain.

The mechanic wasn't working silently like all the others he had before either. He was talking non-stop - about what he was doing with the arm or something completely random like what he did yesterday afternoon. It didn't distract him from his task at all. His eyes were focused entirely on the arm, sometimes flickering to the Soldier’s, sometimes narrowing at the moving metal stick he kept calling Dummy.

He couldn't help but stare at the man as he worked flawlesly, eyes sparkling with admiration especially when talking about his arm. It confused him. The Soldier had never been treated this way, with such care and softness, as if he was as fragile as glass. As if he wasn't just the Handler's tool, a weapon - but someone of equal importance as the Handler himself.

And once the pain was gone, the Soldier almost felt like relaxing into the chair...chair so very different from the one he remembered. He remained alert, but he also decided that he likes this chair better. He likes this mechanic better.

He _likes_. Because he can. Because this Handler keeps asking him questions, seeking the Soldiers opinion - something the other Handlers would never do. Should he even dare voice his opinion he'd be punished. Not here. Not with Anthony Stark.

After a while he felt James's initial panic fade and the other soldier is now contently hidden in his corner of their mind, carefully observing Stark just as much as the Soldier is.

"...you wouldn't believe how many shots it took to get Thor tipsy...not piss drunk or kinda in the mood drunk, but _tipsy_. Fucking Asgardian demi-gods, I'm tellin' ya. Whatever you do, don't challenge the man with alcohol. Even Steve would lose," Stark keeps on rambling. "Well then...that should do it for now. The nerve wiring looks odd...I'd probably make a better job out of that...yup, I most definitely would make a better job. And while I'm a big fan of silver, you should know red and gold is the new sexy so...you got something to think about. And it's not like a tattoo or piercing I mean if you won't like it we can always paint it back."

The Soldier just stares at him, unsure of what kind of reply his Handler expects.

"Oookay, Walkie-not-talkie. Guess now that maintenance is over, you're waiting for them mission details."

He perks up where he sits and turns slightly to his left, to signify his undivided attention to the man.

"Thought so. Jarvis, my moon and stars? Would you do the honors?"

_"Gladly, Sir. I have compared the codenames to known HYDRA associates and discovered current identities of most of them. However with the data now commonly available on the internet, I imagine the codenames and the agents’ locations will change soon – if it hadn’t happened already. The tattooed ones are bound to be a challenge I'm afraid. There are only five and they seem to hold higher ranks within the organization, but I found no match - mostly because tattoos are not exactly a common denominator."_

"We'll figure something out later. Do we have any known whereabouts?" Stark asks and the Voice lights up the thin glass monitor closest to the Soldier. Split second later, information floods the monitor and the Soldier tries saving it all to memory. "Cool, thanks, J."

"I know them," the Soldier informs his Handler as his eyes scan over the files, often accompanied by photographs. "What are the orders?"

"If I understood it correctly, then _elimination_. For each target you kill, Barnes will get a part of his memory back."

James alerts to the mention of his name, becoming calmer and more conscious with every moment. Stark's behavior apparently puts him at ease. The Soldier decides that he approves of that and commends himself for choosing his Handler well.

"Eliminate targets, understood."

"I should probably be talking you out of this...if Steve was here, he would give you a lecture about how killing people is wrong because we're the good guys and yaddy yadda. Well...Steve would probably try to kick your ass until Barnes comes out and stays. So let's not tell Steve anything about this just yet...but one day, you are going to have to save my well-formed ass from the Captain's wrath. Preferably when Barnes is all back again and able to talk his best friend into not killing me."

The Soldier recognizes his Handler is serious despite his joking tone so he nods. "I will."

Stark stares at him for a moment with that small smirk wrinkling his face. "Good...do you um...do you require anything else? Weapons, armor, clothing...not that I'm not diggin’ that homeless disguise you chose or anything but...you smell too. Shower perhaps? Food? "

The Soldier only needs his orders. The rest he can provide for himself. "What are orders regarding collateral damage?"

"Collateral...oh. You mean...right. You gotta do what you gotta do, Soldier. Get your mission done with whatever means necessary...and don't get killed in the process. If that means you gotta kill more HYDRA I say I'm okay with that. But other than that I think you should hold back. Civilians, police...the Avengers."

"Understood."

Stark frowns. "Really...you understand what you're doing, right? Fighting people you worked for just a couple of days ago? Straight up murdering them, actually. Don't you have any problems with that?"

"A top priority mission orders must be carried out regardless of the Soldier's opinion."

"So you've got an opinion now, hm," he says, surprise evident on his face and the Soldier wonders if he crossed the line and this is where he'll be punished. As if sensing his inner thoughts, Stark's face cracks with a smile. "I approve, ‘cause I don't think you were programmed to have opinions...guess that's your own memory coming back. Barnes must have managed to rub some of his rebellious nature on ya before they buried him. That's good. All good. We're gonna understand each other I think," he winks at the Soldier and with a suspicious glint of determination he backs off further into the workshop, searching for something.

The Soldier nods, strangely relieved his new Handler didn't rain punishment on him. Upon the newly discovered sense of security, he prompts James to take control and speak with Stark, but he refuses. It isn't because of fear, at least not fear of the other man, but rather uncertainty. Taking control seems like an impossible concept for James right now, so the Soldier lets him hide away.

"Here," Stark urges, handing the Soldier a phone and keys. "The Starkphone is untraceable so use it...don't just ditch it somewhere, it's expensive! Jarvis is programmed in on #1 so if you'll need anything call him. And I mean it, _anything_."

He fumbles with the keys, looking at them questioningly.

"Ah, those are from a couple safe houses I've got in the US. Nobody knows about those...like not even Jarvis so feel free to use them too. I saved the addresses for you on the phone. I hope you know how to work with one because the last time I had to teach a guy from the forties about phones I almost popped a vein."

"Operating high-tech devices is considered a necessity for assets. I can manage."

"Well thank fuck for that," Stark mutters and pulls out a suitcase in front of him. "Now I'm not thrilled about being someone's Handler just so you know, but since that's what you want… _need_ me to be right now that's what I'll be. And no person handled by me is going to go on a Hydra Murder trip with bare hands or second hand Hammer tech weapons so...here's an SI standard issue handgun...with a couple upgrades from yours truly,” he smirks pointing at himself, “and a semi automatic in case you wanna go in guns blazing. The code for the suitcase is 20151945. And finally," he smacks a shiny black card on top of the suitcase and hands it over to the Soldier, "some equally untraceable cash. Don't spend it all on room service."

He frowns. "Why would I? Room service is not vital for this mission," he says, absolutely serious about this monetary issue, but Stark chokes on laughter. More importantly, _James_ laughs at him too. Just for a second, but he notices.

"Are you sure? The crackers are pretty good for midnight munchies. Try them," Stark orders, but it sounds more like a suggestion than an actual order. Still, the Soldier notes it down absentmindedly.

Stark turns around and starts talking about even more random things than before and the Soldier takes it as his queue to leave. His arm is repaired, he has orders and obtained means to carry them out and his Handler seems pleased with the Soldier so far.

All in all, the Soldier is...excited. A feeling he always pretended to subdue in the past, but can't hold it back now. After all, his mission is finally ready to be taken care of.

_Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission._

_Mission Objective: Recover James Buchanan Barnes._

_Orders: Eliminate further specified HYDRA operatives._

_Phase one: Target: Theodore Manche, Codename: Black Pebble, Location: HYDRA research base in Akranes, Iceland, Europe._

_Mission deadline: Unknown._

_Handler: Anthony Edward Stark. The Iron Man._

**_xxxMadameHydraxxx_ **

 

Why am I surrounded by morons? "Say that again?!"

"The Winter Soldier has - "

"I heard you the first time, you imbecile!"

"O...of course, Madame."

"I recall sending a team to retrieve the Asset...spending a considerable amount of resources to ensure success when he was still in New York. Tell me, Chekov, what happened to that plan?"

"The team lost track of the Asset two hours ago in Northern China."

"You are telling me that not only you let the Asset leave the US but he somehow teleported from China to Iceland in a span of one hour?"

"He... _we_ found the tracker from his arm near Tianjin. It must have been a set up."

"Obviously! How did he get that tracker out? His protocols forbid him from tempering with the arm.”

Chekov looks nervous. More nervous than usual, which tells me he’s trying to avoid something major.

“What is it?!”

“We pulled data out of the tracker…it said the Asset had spent about eleven hours inside the Avengers Tower in New York.”

“He _what_?!” Of bloody course the tracker was pulled out if Tony goddamn Stark got his hands on that arm! Why would the Asset let Stark work on it though? And most importantly, why did he storm our base in Iceland murdering every agent we’ve had stationed there.

That first slip the Asset had with Captain America should have been a sign. The Wipe didn’t work…the Wipe _always_ worked. Something’s afoot here.

“Find everything there is about the Asset. I don’t care if it’s a folder detailing how many times he used the loo in the past seventy years, I want it on my table in 48 hours! Since Insight was a massive failure, we cannot afford the Winter Soldier to fall into Avengers’ hands!”

“Yes, Madame!” Chekov salutes and sprints for the door.

More importantly, should the Avengers tame the Winter Soldier programming and turn it against us…this must be stopped before it is too late.


	4. James Buchanan Barnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets to meet someone special but a call to assemble ruins the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, it's this time of week again so here comes the new chapter! ^^ Thank you for all your amazing comments and kudos, they got me so fired up I managed to write sooooo far ahead this week alone I can't even explain it :D Love you ~ 
> 
> So sit back and enjoy :3

**[>>> Chapter Soundtrack <<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjSabjZ1zdQ&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBv57mGwZ08URWaG2i9VdP_) **

 

"What's with the good mood, Stark?" Clint asks, squinting at me from around the edge of the kitchen door.

"What's with your _face_ , Bird brain? Looks like it was ran over by the Hulk."

"See?!" he howls, looking pointedly at Nat, who silently sips on her green tea by the table. "It's 8 am...on Saturday! Not only is this imposter awake and sober but he's _beaming_! Grinning into his coffee and shit. Please make him stop, Nat, this is scary."

Natasha gives him an unamused glare, then looks at me, cocking her head in interest. She scans me over with that terrifying deduction face that would make Sherlock look like an amateur and with an approving grimace she returns to her tea without a word.

"Traitor," Clint utters and disappears from the doorway with one last glare my way.

"Do I want to know?" Bruce asks with a smile, forcing a plate of pancakes into my hand.

"Know what? There's absolutely nothing to know. Katniss is drinking too much Asgardian mead," I wave at the door with my coffee.

"You are running out of archer names, aren’t ya?!" Clint groans from somewhere in the common room.

"Not yet I'm not, Robin Hood."

"You're in a good mood," Bruce states and sits opposite of Natasha with his own pancakes.

"Blasphemy! _Good mood_...we must kill it before it spreads!"

"You are in a _very_ good mood, Stark," Natasha says, her eyes narrowing at the plate of Bruce's pancakes. "Jokes have been flying out of your ass since...last month. You've been behaving almost like an actual human being too – eating, sleeping…not to mention smiling like a lovesick idiot."

"Jealous much? Can I not be in...I am _not_ smiling like a lovesick idiot!"

"You are," she quickly replies while snatching one pancake for herself, eyes daring Bruce to say something.

"Am not!"

"You're too," Bruce sighs, ignoring his stolen treat.

" _You_ are too, Brucie bear. I wonder who you oggle with those hulkie eyes," I smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at Natasha's back.

Bruce looks pretty much done, sighing again when it's Clint stealing his pancake this time.

"This place is dangerous to every pancake on Earth! I'll be in my workshop. If you need anything take it up with JARVIS, don't bother me," I tell them and move to exit the kitchen, but come face to face with a certain beat looking supersoldier instead. "Capsicle, waddap?" I try casually, offering the man a pancake from my own plate - a true honor if you ask me.

"Tony," he drawls out and moves around me, ignoring the blueberry heaven on my plate. Well, so much for good mood in this room.

He acknowledges the others with a ‘good morning’ and sits next to Natasha, just about ready to pass out.

"Any news?" Nat asks vaguely, but we all know what and who she's talking about. I pause by the door inconspicuously.

"James Winderfield's dead. That's the third known Hydra agent killed this month alone and it's got the Winter Soldier written all over it," he sighs heavily and accepts a cup of coffee from Bruce. "Thanks."

"At least he's hunting Hydra, not us," Clint mumbles through the munched down pancake in his mouth.

"This isn’t Bucky," Steve complains after chugging the entire steaming hot coffee down.

And here it comes...

"Of course it isn't, Steve," Nat chastises him. "You can't be looking for Bucky, you know that."

"I know but...he's in there somewhere Natasha, I could tell! I have to bring him back!"

"You need to take a break is what you gotta do," Clint comments from where he's puppy eying Bruce, who seized the last pancake for himself.

"No. Not until I bring my best friend back!"

"What if that's not all you'll be bringing back?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. Well...shutting up had never been my strong quality. Pepper could write an entire essay about that fact. If she wasn't busy running Stark Industries and not talking to me.

Steve turns his wrecked expression toward me and I regret that question even more now. Judging by Natasha's murderous glare I should really start working on the shutting up issue."What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Forget it," I try to dismiss it, but on top of wrecked, Cap manages to conjure disapproving on his face too. Great. "Don't give me that look, Capsicle, I know you're from the forties but you can't be that naïve. The entire time you had your ass frozen _he's_ been brainwashed into being Hydra's deadliest assassin. So if you think Barnes has somehow managed to stay exactly the same as he was seventy years ago then _you_ need some serious help."

It was maybe a bit too harsh...almost like kicking a sad puppy, but it did the job. Cap at least looks like he is thinking about it so I take that momentary silence to hightail to the elevator before Nat starts sending actual daggers my way.

It's been glorious three months...between working on upgrades to the Soldier's arm and tracking down Hydra agents from the kill list, I managed to throw off both Hydra and Steve by faking news about the Soldier's whereabouts. That tracker I stealthily fished out of the arm during the first maintenance helped a bunch with that. Natasha dumping HYDRA's outmost secrets on the other hand didn't help at all since all the now _known_ agents did their best to disappear...they are kinda bad at that - or JARVIS is getting really good and scary in what he does.

I've only seen the Soldier a couple of times since our first meeting. He deemed it necessary to report on Barnes's status after the first kill. Apparently a successful elimination of the target does bring some memories back, at the cost of Barnes passing out for a time. Since then he only ever stopped by to get his arm checked or when he ran out of orders.

With that last kill, the body count is already at sixteen...well, of the Operation Wings targets only. Because holy shit is the collateral damage so much higher. Thank God Steve doesn't know about all of them. I know the Winter Soldier is supposed to be efficient but _fuck_ I didn't know just how much he actually is. I took the liberty of tracking both the phone I gave him and the guns - blame it on my paranoia - and had a chance to witness him in action once.

Note to self - never piss the Soldier off. Like, ever.

Barnes...well, he seems more in there than before - according to the regular messages the Soldier sends me - but he still prefers to stay hidden in his mind sanctuary. Which leaves me with the Soldier. The result of Hydra's heinous conditioning. A program rather than a person. Hydra's ahead of its time attempt at AI technology crossing borders with bionics.

I will never admit it to anyone, but the Soldier is way up there with JARVIS in terms of adaptability and...well...being human. They are both somewhat self aware, yet neither is an actual human being. If anything, the Soldier is bordering on that split personality disorder thing. Just bordering because split personalities don't communicate with each other. And there's hecka communication going on in there with Barnes.

This realization should be freaking me the fuck out but...it isn't. The Soldier is on a mission for now and by the time it's completed -

 _"Sir?" JARVIS inquires, once the elevator is on its way down to the workshop, breaking my train of thoughts. "I should inform you that Project_ Give me a hand _is currently active in your workshop."_

"He's _here_?! That was...quick. Wasn't he in Venezuela last night?"

JARVIS knows better than to answer my rhetorical questions - God bless him - and just lets me in when the elevator comes to a stop.

I make it a couple steps inside before I have to make a double take - a common occurrence lately. Because what the actual fuck is going on here right now?!

There's Dummy of course, because the bot has a huge metal crush on the Soldier and thus curiously hangs with him like a fanboy magnet when he's around. Never touching or interacting, because the Soldier mostly ignores him - if you don't count the glares.

Which is why I can't believe the scene in front of me, because it's not just Dummy, but YOU and Butterfingers too, surrounding a crouching Barnes and beeping happily at the man as he curiously prods them with his hands.

 _Barnes_.

Not the Soldier, but _Barnes_! The presence is so different that there's no doubt about it. This is _not_ the Soldier.

I can only stare for the longest time, watching the man as curiously as he watches my bots. He's careful, touching lightly with the metal hand and then trying more firmly with his flesh one, testing, experiencing. He mumbles something to them too, but I can't quite hear that.

It's almost...cute.

Wait, what?! _Cute_?! No wonder Nat thinks I'm smiling like a lovesick idiot, someone must be slipping drugs into my coffee! Wait, I am smiling right now...shit, shit, sh - !

"Um, hi," Barnes rasps out, staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

Come on, Tony, activate the snark mode! "Why hello there, Sergeant Barnes. Good to finally meet you. Took you long enough."

He still looks ready to bolt any second, but only stands up instead.

"I see you've acquainted with the metal gang already," I nod at the bots, not making any move forward in case three bots and a crazy engineer is a crowd already.

"The Voice...I mean JARVIS said that's okay," he answers, kinda shy and in the weirdest sort of antique Brooklyn accent I've ever heard.

"Yeah, sure, no problem. Dummy wanted to get his hand on you for...wait did you just...is the Soldier calling JARVIS _The Voice_?!" I blurt out and almost miss the gentle upward tug of Barnes's lips.

"He thinks calling people by codenames is... _more efficient_ ," he grimaces, his voice tainted with sarcasm and _yes_ , hello, sarcasm I can totally work with.

"What does that make me? The Genius, the Billionaire, the Playboy or the Philanthropist?"

"The Handler," he answers bluntly, his expression falling back to blank. "The Mechanic. The Iron Man."

I smirk and dare a couple steps toward the man. "Well, I guess that works. Although, I prefer Tony so whenever you've got a one on one with the guy, tell him he can always just call me that. If he wants...hell you can call me that if you want," I suggest, trying to make it sound exactly like that - a suggestion. If I was in his shoes I'd be so fed up with orders I'd probably shove the next order someone gives me up their butthole.

He looks uncertain - a look he and the Soldier share - but nods.

"What do I call _you_? There's a Soldier already and I'm not calling you weird codenames like the Sergeant, the Winter Wonder, Too Hot for Red and Gold Guy…but now that I think about it..."

"James," he offers before I can decide to call him just that and extends his flesh hand (damn) to me.

"Pleasure to meet you, James," we shake hands and Dummy, the traitor only now realizes I'm here and beeps at me in greeting. "There's someone upstairs who'd have even more pleasure meeting you, but since you sneaked in _here_ instead of the Common floor I'm guessing you don't want to meet him just yet."

He looks down, almost ashamed. "No. I...I don't think I'm ready for that."

"I don't think _he's_ ready for that, if it makes you feel any better."

"How is he?" he looks up, looking all kinds of vulnerable and I don't think I like that look on him. Hell I'd prefer the _I'm gonna murder you now_ look.

"Tired. Sad, I guess. But he'll be fine. You both will be...when the two of you get your shit together."

He looks shocked for some reason.

"What?"

"Is that some strange future thing now? Taking one's shit and putting it together with someone else’s?"

Well...so much for decorum. I burst out laughing, surely spitting all over the man's face in the process, but from the lack of a knife in the back I'm assuming he either doesn't mind or just drowns further in his confusion instead.

"Oh Thor, this...I'm sorry, um," I collect myself and stumble around the bots to sit down. "I shouldn't make fun of you just because you were born almost a century ago and don't understand a simple expression of sorting one's issues."

He turns around, still frowning. "Is that what it means?"

"Yup. It's got nothing to do with actual shit. Stuff, yes. But shit, nah uh. Don't worry, the future is all kinds of twisted but we're not quite there yet."

"There are no flying cars either."

"You...how much _can_ you remember? Not much I imagine after just sixteen targets but you remembered Howard and his broken ass flying car?!"

He shrugs innocently. "Can't pick what I remember and what I don't remember."

"Fair enough...so...it works, huh?"

"Like a charm. I...still don't remember a lot...I can feel that. But I remember enough to know who I was. And who I _wasn't_. The memories come back in a flood and...they kinda mingle with the Soldier's. It's confusing sometimes. He keeps his memories away from me somehow...but it doesn't always work," he admits and I feel like there's more to that statement.

"Sounds like you two get along just fine," I comment, pointing at a chair Dummy had been vigorously poking at since I sat down. The damn bot's bewitched or something.

He sits down hesitantly and exhales, long and tired - almost a deja-vu from fifteen minutes ago. "When ya got two boys bickering and beating each other, you put them in a room together for a week and lock the doors. They'll either kill each other or become friends for life. We can't kill each other...and I don't think he understands what a friend is so...we co-exist is the word I'm looking for."

"You remember Howard's fail car and this psychology lesson on friendship forging? Fucking HYDRA."

If he has anything to add, he doesn't get a chance to because Fury's annoying voice cuts in from the comm. "Get your ass assembled, Stark! We've got a lead on Loki's scepter and it’s not gon wait there till you get your manicure done!" is all he says before the assemble alarm goes off.

Barnes looks at me questioningly.

"Iron Man's got a mission," I wink at him for reasons I don’t wanna think about right now and move to get my armor. "You can stay here as long as you want. JARVIS has more info on HYDRA for you...or for the Soldier. If you need anything _The Voice is yours to command_!" I announce dramatically while the armor starts assembling around me.

"Thanks," he says, watching me suit up curiously.

I could swear that was a small smile right there, but I can only admire it for a second before the helmet snaps close and I momentarily lose vision.

Well, time to make a top priority mission of my own - make this man smile like that. All the time, preferably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am moving AoU in here, because I don't think it took over a year to happen in regards to the CA:WS...also plot convenience, haha (sorry, not sorry :D)


	5. Lost but not Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James comes to terms with the Soldier, while the Soldier is faced with grasping the concept of loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday is upon us yet again and so is the new chapter! ^^ Things are about to start going downhill - and uphill at the same time - for our two (three?) favorite superheroes from now on...enjoy the calm before the storm *evil HYDRA laugh*
> 
> Thank you all for the support and I hope you'll enjoy this week's chapter! *offers tea and biscuits*
> 
> (Knowing what happened in Avengers: Age of Ultron is kind of a necessity to understand this chapter ^^)

**_[>>> Chapter Soundtrack <<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg7gBqwkOgo&list=PLk09tmeXpLmA3pNqDstF6wZbt1eE6iUYE&index=2) _ **

 

We are closing in on our target. The Soldier's unmasked excitement is a sign I've learned to associate with this situation. The rush of adrenalin, the way our fingers tighten around the gun, or a knife...or someone's neck.

I remember killing people. During the war I've killed a lot of them. But I don't remember feeling like that when I was about to push the trigger and take someone's life. The Soldier _enjoys_ it. He revels in the act and looks forward to it every time. I recall a single second of hesitation during the first kill. My memory was so scattered at the time I desperately held on to his, which is why I remember it so vividly.

The moment he killed that first Hydra agent...Theodore Manche...and unlocked a long forgotten vault with my memories inside.

Stark...Tony was right. Despite having a mission the Soldier still found it difficult to execute the order against Hydra, the very organization that created him. But that was only the first kill. Once the Soldier realized he is following the right orders and nobody is there to punish him for killing his former co-workers, he set his mind to the task entirely.

He wants nothing more than to complete his mission...and impress his Handler.

Tony intrigues him, I think. The way he treats the Soldier...that is something new to him and he enjoys it. He enjoys being treated as someone who matters.

It's such a human thing to feel that it scared me. I don't understand what the Soldier is, but I know he's not a person...so for him to act like one just terrified me.

That was until JARVIS made an appearance...not a physical one but an appearance nonetheless. Tony created him - kinda like Hydra created the Soldier and for some reason I cannot unsee their similarity. JARVIS isn't an infamous assassin, but he is also a man on a mission. He's a guard, a protector. When we first entered the Tower, he let us in...but not before listing an impressive array of way he will be capable of neutralizing us if we so much as look at Tony the wrong way.

Assassins or not, both JARVIS and the Soldier are terrifying. And fascinating at the same time.

I can't help but admire the technology of the future. It was always something I was excited about - if that part of my memory serves me right. That's what I was doing the first couple of weeks - just admiring the futures many wonders while the Soldier went on about the mission.

I couldn't help inspecting Tony's bots either. The Soldier paid them no mind by I was captivated immediately. Had to dodge Dummy and his fire extinguisher once, but otherwise they are all harmless, almost childlike. To Tony I guess they _are_ kinda like his children.

Which brings me to Tony - a whole other level of fascinating. Watching him work and interact with JARVIS and _the metal gang_ , I can understand why he’s always treated the Soldier so well. He treats him like he treats JARVIS. In fact he seems to treat everyone better than he treats himself. And that makes me feel all kinds of weird about the insane engineer. All kinds of wrong too...

_Because Howard...Howard..._

The Soldier interrupts my musings with an impatient grunt to get my attention. He found the target - whoever it is - and he's stalking her through the shadows of the office building hallways. It's early evening and the target is one of the last people here. Should be easy enough for the Soldier.

But he waits, eyes never leaving his prey. He waits for me.

It's become this silent prompt for me to take control and do the kill myself. He asked me at first, asked me if I wanted to do it. He never _forced_ me to, he just _asked_ and when I said no he just went on and did the kill. Eventually, we started having this entire conversation in silence - he'd wait, I'd draw back further inside our mind and he would go on and kill the target.

He gave me a choice every time...and that little act made me...dislike the Soldier a little less. It made me a bit proud too. I know for a fact just a couple of months ago he wouldn't be able to grasp the concept of _choice_...he's adapting, learning, changing and I'd say for the better.

I’m not going to give him a different answer today, so after a few more moments he moves from the shadows and strikes - fast and silent, knife pierces flesh and the woman crumbles to the floor, suffocating with her own blood.

I cringe...but feel no sympathy for her. She was HYDRA. She deserved worse.

"Mission complete," the Soldier says and I know what follows. A rush of images and emotions overwhelms me until my consciousness fades to black.

 

**_xxxTheSoldierxxx_ **

 

" _Something's wrong_ ," James slurs from the back of their mind, still waking up from his after-mission nap - as his Handler calls it.

He needs new orders, so he travelled back to New York immediately after the mission was done. He moves through the darkened hallways of the Avengers Tower now and he must agree with James. Something is afoot. He tenses, eyes scanning the corridor looking for danger, but finds none. The Tower is silent, empty...wouldn't be the first time. But it feels wrong and the Soldier can't tell why.

" _JARVIS!_ " the other Soldier says urgently and hurls a flood of memories at him.

Of course! How could the Soldier forget - The Voice always greeted them upon their arrival to the Tower. They barely crossed the threshold and it spoke to them, inquiring about their well-being, telling them where to find the Handler, opened the doors of the workshop for them...and it was dead silent now.

"Voice?" he whispers into the silence, but there's no reply.

A strange sort of fear oozes from the other soldier...he isn't afraid...he is...he fears _for_ the Voice. And the Handler... _Tony_. If the Voice is in danger then the Handler is too.

Unacceptable.

If the Han... _Tony_ , if anything were to happen to Tony, then the Soldier will have to find a new Handler. And a new mechanic if he ever hopes to finish his mission.

The Soldier doesn't want a new Handler. He...he has to...

" _Protect him!_ " James provides the answer for him and the Soldier understands.

Yes, protect Tony Stark. The Soldier must do this...it's his mission!

 

_Operation Wings. A Top-priority Mission._

_Mission Objective: Recover James Buchanan Barnes._

_Additional Objective: Protect the Handler – Tony Stark._

_Orders: Eliminate further specified HYDRA operatives._

_Phase Twenty-two: Target: Unknown_

_Mission deadline: Unknown._

_Handler: Tony Stark. The Iron Man._

James makes a surprised sound, but prompts the Soldier to move, to go find Tony.

" _The workshop!_ " He suggests and the Soldier nods.

With his knife at the ready, he continues down the hallway leading to the workshop. It is Tony's favorite place to be, but when he arrives at the glass doors, the room beyond is dark and just as silent. He could try smashing through the seemingly fragile glass with the metal hand, but decides such action is not yet warranted. Instead he knocks on it, loud and clear for anyone who might be inside.

There's nothing though. No sound or movement. Even the moving metal sticks are nowhere to be found. That in particular makes the other soldier uneasy.

" _The common room._ "

He moves faster now, if it's James's growing panic or his own, he doesn't know. But it sparks something new inside him, an instinct he only observed from others - from James too.

The need to protect what is his. And the Handler is his to protect.

He takes the stairs four at a time, reaching the common room under a minute, blending with the shadows just in case any of the other Avengers were around. The sight that greets him chills him to the bone with a sting colder than the cryo chamber ever did.

It looks like a battle took place in here, the furniture is all over the place, windows are shattered, mechanical parts that look frighteningly   
like the Iron Man armor lay ripped off on the ground...only thing that is missing are dead bodies.

Number of scenarios flash through his mind...kidnapping, assassination, another extraterrestrial attack...but none explain the absence of the Voice. The Voice is the brain of the building itself. Kidnapping it would prove technically challenging. Electricity isn't the issue either - the appliances in the kitchen give off faint light from their digital displays and what's left of the television on the floor keeps flickering in static.

They could have attacked the server the Voice occupies, but he knows for a fact destroying the servers wouldn't actually kill the Voice. But it might explain its momentary silence.

" _The roof_ ," James guides him again, but this time the Soldier frowns.

"His private quarters first," he argues and strides to the stairs.

" _No_ ," James says forcefully. " _That's not where he'd go. Try the roof first._ "

He growls warningly at his inner companion - he is not his _Handler_ , he's his _mission_. He doesn't get to order the Soldier around.

" _I ain't ordering you around, Soldier, I'm just...the roof is more likely to find Tony there, he rarely goes to his own floor, you_ know _that_."

He begrudgingly obeys and passes Tony's floor on the way up the Tower. It is true that Tony was never on his private floor when the Soldier came around. He'll listen to James...this time.

When he finally climbs to the top even he feels a little breathless. The Tower is quite monumental. And with the elevators offline, it proves a disadvantage...but he perhaps understands why James sent him here first. It would make a great hiding spot.

When he walks outside to the warm night James's instinct turns out to be spot on, because Tony is right there, seemingly unharmed and safe. He's sitting on the ledge, way too close to the ninety-three stories drop off the Tower than the Soldier feels comfortable with and staring absently ahead, a glass of some sort of alcohol in hand.

The Soldier looks around thoroughly and once again finds no imminent danger. Something must have happened though.

" _What are you waiting for? Talk to him!_ "

The Soldier frowns, prompting James to take control. He's here for mission orders and now that he made sure of the Handler's well-being that is all he needs. Talking isn't something the Soldier feels is necessary. It wastes time...it's distracting too.

" _You've got the social abilities of a toddler, you punk. Talk to him...I'll be right here, come on._ "

Tony makes the decision for him, as is befitting his position. "Either come here or go creep from the shadows somewhere else."

James alerts to the sound of Tony's voice. If he was in control he would have flinched at how harsh, yet defeated it sounded. The Soldier can feel his tension and anxiousness to find out why the usually cheerful, loud engineer looks so...depressed.

He moves over to the ledge, standing few feet away from Tony. The man looks him over and nods, the exhaustion now apparent in his face.   
"The Soldier...great, well...orders will have to wait if that's what you're here for. JARVIS is...unavailable at the moment. Gotta...do some stuff before searching for more targets," he utters. It's not completely a lie, but the Soldier knows some information was withheld from him just now. "Which means...," he plasters a twisted grin on his face, "you’re off mission duty for a while. Here, have a drink," he says, handing him his own glass of the golden brown liquid.

The Soldier takes it out of obedience, but glares at it instead of drinking. "The mission does not require drinking alcohol."

" _I take it back...your social skills are literally_ non-existent _. He just told you the mission is on hold._ "

"The mission cannot be on hold."

"It sure as hell can!" Tony snaps, looking at the Soldier with an unreadable expression. "There's a new mission, getting so drunk that three days from now you wake up and have no idea who you are."

He doesn't understand but James is suddenly livid. " _Ask him what happened!_ " He orders him again...that is twice this night alone...unacceptable.

Tony bursts out into a hysterical laughter, unshed tears glistening in the pale light, coming off the streets below. "It's fucking hilarious isn't it. Your mission is to remember, mine is to forget. We're fucking perfect for each other," he keeps on laughing, but even the Soldier can tell he is far from amused.

"What happened here?" The Soldier asks, internally glaring at James for making him do this.

The laughing stops abruptly. "If I say shit happened here, will you take it literally? Not like it matters....it's exactly what happened here." He pauses, avoiding the Soldier's piercing gaze. "We got pooped on...I played God, created an evil overlord mass-murderer that'd give you a run for your money, he almost destroyed the world, people died and more shit happened. Hence I'm here with my best pal Whiskey, contemplating those conditioning methods HYDRA put you through...sounds like a sure way to forget all this shit...."

" _Don't say that_ ," James says as if he could speak aloud. " _He said people died..._ "

The Soldier frowns and speaks up before James can get any more distraught. "What are the casualties?"

"Some civilians...then there's this...super fast guy whose life I fucked up long before he was dragged into this superhero bullshit...Bruce is gone, he's got enough of this crap - which makes two of us...but don't worry, Steve is a-okay. Our fragile flower of a friendship is probably smashed forever, but he'll live. Me, I'm gonna live too..."

_But I shouldn't_. The words are unspoken, but the Soldier knows they were supposed to follow. He knows, because that's what James keeps on thinking about himself.

The other soldier falls silent at the revelation.

"Why is the Voice quiet?" The Soldier asks solely for security purposes. The Tower is not secure without the watchful eye of the Voice. Not to mention it provides him with mission information...if the Voice was a person, he'd make a great Handler.

Tony's eyes snap to his and what he sees in them breaks something in the Soldier. It might just be James, because he gasps, his entire presence becoming sullen. The Soldier saw that look before but couldn’t ever interpret it.

Now he can.

"The Voice is dead," he states in astonishment. The Voice cannot...how could anyone _kill_ the Voice? "How?"

Tony tells him. About something called Loki's scepter, about Ultron, about what he saw the future might look like...he tells him about Vision. The man - yet not a man - that the Voice is now part of.

By the time Tony tells him about the new Avengers and how he wants nothing more than to stay away from them and pretty much everyone right now, his Handler is sobbing quietly where he sits, looking over the edge of the Tower.

James weeps at his corner as well for reasons beyond the Soldier.

"Here I am, Tony mutherfucking Stark, crying like a fucking baby because a _program_ I designed got ripped apart and then uploaded to some flying weirdo!" He laughs some more of that ugly, emotionless laugh. "You picked the most fucked up Handler in this forsaken piece of shit world!"

James is screaming now...all the things he'd tell Tony if he could. That it's not his fault, that crying for a lost friend is okay, that if he thinks he's fucked up then what does that make us...the Soldier agrees. Tony is angry, that's why he's saying such things. He is...sad. Mourning a friend. The Soldier doesn't have friends...yet the loss of the Voice leaves a strange void behind. And he doesn't like it.

"The Voice was lost, but it is not gone," the Soldier says, stunning both men into shocked silence.

Tony speaks first. "Did you just...did you just insinuate to me JARVIS _lives on in Vision_ or some shit?" He gapes at the Soldier.

He can’t tell why are they so surprised. This is how it is, surely they know. He downs the drink, and takes the bottle from Tony's hand too. "Only what's forgotten can be gone. I'm cancelling your mission," he confidently informs Tony and leisurely throws the bottle over the edge.

Tony watches him wide eyed, only recovering when the fate of the bottle catches up with his brain. "Wha-you know how expensive that was?! Fuck that but you just dropped it down from more than a thousand feet tall Tower! What if it hits someone down there! You're insane holy shit, dude!" He rambles, eyes bulged out looking over the edge.

The Soldier panics slightly, he didn't think that through and now the Handler is angry. What's more, he just dared to cancel his Handler's mission! Of course he's angry!

" _He's not angry_ ," James tells him softly, smile evident in his voice. " _He's right though, that bottle could have killed someone, we better check later. Now apologize_!"

"Sorry," he mutters, but repeats himself more clearly when Tony turns back to him questioningly.

The tiniest smile appears on Tony's face and it does a weird thing to the Soldier's stomach.

"It's 'Kay...I'll ask Happy to check around the Tower. Jar..." He starts but immediately halts himself, the smile disappearing again. "Never mind, I'll call him myself," he gets up and heads back inside. "Since you threw my daily liquid supply to the ground, go make coffee. It better be blacker than my soul! And I want biscuits too!" He calls over his shoulder and leaves the Soldier standing awkwardly outside.

" _Operation Coffee, Soldier, you heard the man,_ " James prompts him, his presence adding to the warmth that settled inside the Soldier.

Suddenly it turns to panic.

"The Soldier doesn’t know how to make coffee!"

James only laughs, and if the Soldier cracks a smile of his own, nobody sees. He follows Tony inside the Tower while James gives him instructions on how to brew the perfect cup of coffee for Tony.

The Voice was lost, but the Soldier will remember.


	6. Of Omelets and Explosions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is enjoying the quiet/not quiet of the Tower, until they're not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I gotta fix that. I gotta fix THAT, did you see THAT?! O.o I can't go see that movie...if the trailer threw me in this state, I can't watch the entire movie, it'll kill me :'D MAH THREE BABIES WHY!!?? *hugs her Hulk plushie* 
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter, everyone! Thank you all for the love and the comments...now I gotta go back to theraphy *goes on a fluff reading spree*
> 
> See you next Sunday! ^^
> 
> [According to my spreadsheet and so far progress, I believe we are in for another six to seven chapters! \o/ And it's uh...gonna be a bumpy ride...]

_**[>>> Chapter Soundtrack <<<](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk09tmeXpLmBTWfTYlHdyb0kZa4yCdOxB) ** _

 

We stay in the Tower for a couple of weeks after that. The Avengers are busy training in their new facility and never come around anymore, which means we have the enormous structure all to ourselves. Tony spends his time in the workshop, working on FRIDAY - the new JARVIS. She's something else completely, driving Tony crazy with her laid back attitude and poorly disguised sarcasm.

The Soldier doesn't like FRIDAY. Unless he really needs something I can't help with, he doesn't even talk to her. It's his way of missing _the Voice_ , I think. Change is difficult to actual humans, no wonder it's hard for the Soldier.

Me, I'm just enjoying this welcome break from the mission. I thought the quiet of the Tower is going to be suffocating, but that was before I realized I could spend my free time in the workshop with Tony. The word quiet and Tony just doesn't go together. Even if the brilliant engineer stays silent the workshop remains in a constant buzz of loud activity. Music blasting from a number of speakers around the large room, the machinery doing its work, Dummy wheeling around, having beeping conversation with the other bots - and Tony, the coffee machine brewing …sometimes more than just coffee...it's relaxing. Peaceful, even. Compared to the noises of battle I've gotten used to these past months, it is heaven to my ears.

I know there is still a long way to go for me to get all my memories back...and a longer way still to get used to this new life in the future, but I'm not alone. As if I could be with this smirking punk currently in control of our body, making breakfast - actually cooking one.

The Soldier was so impressed with his newly gained ability to brew coffee - more importantly Tony was impressed, which made the Soldier want to impress him even more - that he decided kitchen is nothing more than a mission and he will tackle it as if it was a HYDRA goon.

If I ever doubted the Soldier's efficiency I sure as hell don't now. That omelet looks heavenly.

The Bastard smirks even more, knowing exactly how much I want to eat that right now.

"Tony first," he warns when I set my mind on the plate he just avalanched with like five omelets.

I groan and wish my stomach could rumble in protest but I am far from being that hungry.

" _Fine. Hurry while he's still conscious_ ," I urge him - both because I want to eat too and because while Tony is brilliant he is also an idiot who forgets... _forgets_ to eat and sleep.

Who just _forgets_ how to do that?! This shouldn't be called the Stark Tower but the Adult Nursery Tower.

" _Good morning, Soldier_ ," FRIDAY greets us in the elevator and automatically moves us downward.

The Soldier just grunts in reply, clutching protectively onto the plate.

" _You're so rude. Be Nice to the Voice 2 - Voice harder_." Tony's words not mine. I asked if FRIDAY stands for something just like JARVIS used to - apparently it's _Fairly Ridiculously Intelligent Dummy And You_. It seems fitting…but FRIDAY was quite offended when her name was explained. She even gave the two bots a full day of silent treatment.

"No omelet for you.”

" _Wha-what did I do?! I better get one, you punk_!"

He raises an eyebrow in challenge. "Or what?"

" _Or...or I will make you walk around the Tower...naked_ ," I wiggle my imaginary eyebrows at him but he just shrugs.

"I do not mind. Why should I?”

" _Unbelievable_."

The elevator comes to a stop and the Soldier flinches, growling at Dummy who slaloms towards us as soon as we enter the workshop. He is beginning to like Dummy...well, he doesn't glare at him anymore. And once he figures out Dummy can't eat them omelets, he’ll stop the growling too.

Baby steps.

"Ah, the Growling Soldier, what's got you up so late at night?" Tony chimes from underneath some mechanical monstrosity I can only imagine is some sort of engine.

The Soldier frowns. "It is 7AM."

" _7:03AM actually_ ," FRIDAY corrects him and she's lucky she doesn't have a body because she'd get murdered just now.

Tony's head peaks up at us from under the engine with a frown. "Oh...is it still 2015 at least?"

" _Looks like it, boss._ "

Tony shrugs and gets up, eyes fixing on what's in the Soldier's hands. "Is that...did you make omelets?" he asks in disbelieve, staring at the plate with wonder.

The Soldier hums in satisfaction. "Yes," he nods and pushes the plate into Tony's personal space.

His eyes follow it, glued to the mystical sight and it takes him a while before he realizes what's going on. "You...made _me_ omelets."

"Of course."

"Of c...you're unbelievable," he states, absolutely gobsmacked.

" _That's what I said_."

Tony takes the top omelet, leaving the rest with the Soldier and moves to sit on the old couch in the corner. "Holy cwap this's good!" he moans the most unfortunate of moans and munches it down happily.

For once the Soldier gets the clue and sits on the other end of the couch, eating one himself.

“ _Yes...holy crap, Soldier. How about laying down the assassin thing and becoming a world star chef?”_

That earns me another low growl from him and a quiet chuckle from Tony.

"Is that how the two of you communicate? You growl whenever James teases you?"

" _Pretty much_."

The Soldier is unamused by our indirect exchange and actually glares at Tony who immediately raises a placating hand.

"What? It's hilarious! Love it...that's what made you the Growling Soldier."

" _In other words, he's blaming_ me _for your newest codename. Just so you know, I am denying all such accusations_!"

It's obvious he's had enough of our antics and he pulls back, letting me take over.

It's the strangest of feelings...like I'm waking up after years of sleeping, slowly realizing I have an actual body to move. Otherwise the change is very subtle and anyone else might completely miss it...but Tony is not just anyone.

"I see he's had enough of socializing for the day," he grins at me, leaning over to swiftly grab another omelet. Dummy makes a reappearance too, somehow sensing he's no longer unwelcomed and places his head into my lap. I change my mind, he's not like a child, he's like a puppy.

"Yeah, I can be a handful even if I'm just a voice in your head."

"I've got no doubts about that. Is he at least more talkative when he's back there?"

"Nah...he does a lot of growling and grunting. Only _you_ can make him talk so much," I try teasingly.

"Pffft, of course I can! It's one of my outstanding qualities...I got it in my CV right under _I'm Iron Man_."

I chuckle, trying not to spit out the delicious treat the Soldier prepared for us. He has settled in the back of our mind and seems to be ignoring us entirely. But I know better. He might be all quiet and uninterested, but he keeps on observing...listening to Tony's teasing, cheerful, sometimes even flirty voice. He can't help it and neither can I. It's calming and reassuring, never failing to ground us in the here and now. Even when I feel particularly panicky, after a nightmare or a stray flash of chaotic, incomplete memory, just imagining Tony speaking to me helps.

The Soldier won't admit it out loud, but I can tell how he feels. And when it comes to Tony, he feels the same way I do.

Conflicted.

He is yet to identify the feeling, but I know what it is...and it's wrong. Not just because it's clear such feeling would never be returned...but because it’s _us_. And Tony has no idea what we've done...

"Capsicle is back at it," Tony adds, sighing heavily. "Looks like he's satisfied with the new Avengers setup so he left the puppies with Natasha and headed straight for Spain."

"Spain?"

"The Winter Soldier had been spotted in Barcelona."

"Oh really...Barcelona, hm? Sounds nice, gonna have to go there sometime," I joke but it comes out pretty flat. Stevie...this is not fair to him. I should have told him I'm fine months ago. But the more I learn about him, the more I don't want to meet him just yet. The more I remember the more I realize I'm not actually fine either.

I know he's hurt...and when he finds out its going to hurt him even more but I need this. I need to finish this on my own, without him interfering - and he would, I know he would.

That lil' punk is still the same. I miss him so much.

"Hey...stop that. I can hear that brain of yours trying to work this out and it's obviously overloading it," Tony smirks, but his voice remains serious - a rare, but welcome tone. "Steve adores you...he won't blame you for this. As long as he'll have you back, he'll be a happy camper."

"Speaking of which...the Soldier is getting restless. I mean...look," I hold the plate pointedly. "He had to give himself cooking missions to pass the time and get his mind off of the actual mission."

His smirk widens. "Well, I'm not gonna complain. These omelets are to die for."

"Right?" I laugh, mostly at the Soldier, who pretty much purrs in satisfaction from the praise.

"But you're right...should get this over with asap. FRIDAY? Talk to me real fast, girl!"

" _I have managed to set up surveillance on a number of remaining targets. The top five are still to be identified though_."

Tony cringes. "I knew those will be tricky. Gonna have to do some in-depth research on those. Might come with you on the next couple missions, see if I can get some info."

"Come with me?! I don't think that's such a good idea."

He looks offended, but keeps that teasing smirk up. "Why, because it's dangerous? Pffft, I'm Iron Man, remember?"

"Iron man or not, I know you can take care of yourself...in a fight at least, because otherwise you're failing miserably, by the way. It's just...I don't..." I sigh in frustration. How do you tell someone you don't want them to witness how you gut a man and enjoy every second of it?

"Awww, you're worried about me and my delicate sanity," he says in that cutesy flirt voice of his. "How cute. Is this a good time to confess I have followed you a couple times already and witnessed the Soldier's handy work first hand?"

I almost choke on that omelet.

"Hey now, I did say they are to die for but choking on one will make for an embarrassing epitaph."

"You followed me?!"

"For strictly scientific purposes! I needed to see the arm in action for future reference! And...I wanted to make sure everything goes smoothly...for strictly Handler related purposes, like...HYDRA would laugh at me for eternity if I let the Soldier fail the first couple missions," he adds hurriedly and hides his face behind his coffee cup.

"Riiiiigt...just admit it, you were worried about me, Stark. How cute," I return the shots right back to him, enjoying the outburst of genuine laughter...accompanied by a sputter of coffee.

"Yeah yeah, fine. A little worried. For no reason, because the Soldier is too badass."

"He sure is. And I'm sure you are too...still, I'd rather you don't come along."

That was obviously the wrong thing to say because Tony's smile freezes, immediately being replaced by that fake grin I've come to hate so much.

"Alrighty...no problem. You just gonna have to do some snooping around and interrogating on top of HYDRA ass-kicking."

I nod, trying to ignore the way my stomach dropped. And how the Soldier glares at me with warning.

"Good, FRIDAY? Give us what you've got on the next targets," he commands, but nothing happens. "Take your time Fry, it's not like we don't have the whole day for this...oh wait, we don't!"

Silence.

The Soldier immediately kicks into full attention, not quite forcing himself into control, but clearly wanting to take it.

"FRIDAY?" I try, hoping the unresponsive AI was simply busy processing Tony's request. She's still in her AI dipers after all, even Tony said so.

"Shit!" Tony curses when she still doesn't give a reply. He springs into action, pulling up the bluish schematic of the Tower out of thin air. "Friday's down! Someone disabled the entire security system!"

I don't need to think about who could it be. It doesn't matter. The security is breached and that means danger.

" _HYDRA_ ," the Soldier snarls and becomes even more fidgety.

I give in to his urgent request for control, nodding at Tony with what I hope is a reassuring face.

The second the Soldier comes to, he has a gun in one hand and a knife in the other, striding towards the one and only entrance into the workshop, Dummy rolling around us towards where the fire estinguisher is. Bless that bot, but he better stay clear.

"I need five minutes for reboot and then whoever's in here is fucked!" Tony calls after us, seeing through the Soldier's plan, the Iron Man gauntlet already equipped. Without FRIDAY the armor is not an option, but thankfully the gauntlet is a weapon to be reckoned with on its own.

"Understood," the Soldier confirms, eyes scanning for any movement in the vicinity of the glass walls.

A loud boom pierces the deadly calm and the next thing I know the room is a flurry of motion. The Soldier is swift, not at all disturbed by the explosion that rocked the entire floor. If I was in control, I doubt my instincts would kick in this quick. Before I can get my bearings there are already three men laying dead on the floor, two with sliced throat and one with a smoking hole in his chest - Tony's handy work.

I don't know how the Soldier figured this was HYDRA but he was right. The clothing, the fighting style...these were HYDRA operatives without a doubt. They hacked into FRIDAY, disabled security and now they're attacking our save haven...every fiber of my being oozes fury and I am surprised to find it matched with the Soldier's. The mission is clear - kill HYDRA, protect Tony.

The Soldier growls in agreement - making me wonder how can someone put so much emotion into a growl - and wastes no time thinking and dispatches another agent who’s just dropped down from the vent, while keeping an eye on Tony. He’s standing his ground in the back of the workshop, one hand working the computer while the other is aimed at the ready with the gauntlet.

The goons go down like flies - they are no match for the assassin they’ve created. How ironic. The fight will be over sooner than expected at this rate.

Of course I should have known it wouldn't be so easy. The couple dozen agents were just the first wave. An envoy to the cavalry - in this case personified in a single man.

" _I know him_ ," the Soldier tells me discreetly, sending a bundle of memories my way.

Brock Rumlow. Pierce's right hand in the midst of SHIELD and the Soldier's contact on occasion. He somehow looks even more intimidating than ever before and the Soldier narrows his attention at him, trusting Tony to have his back.

 _Huh_.

"Stand down, Asset," he speaks in a commanding tone, eyes never leaving ours.

The Soldier answers him with a quick lunge, tackling Rumlow to the floor. The Soldier is a man of few words, but his actions never fail to send the right message. I imagine this one was along the lines of "fuck you, Rumlow".

They struggle for dominance, wriggling on the floor until another explosion rocks the room. The Soldier freezes momentarily, giving Rumlow enough time to back away from him and get up. What the...

He ignores the Hydra agent completely in favor of looking back at where Tony is figh...where the explosion came from! Crap!

The Soldier finds the engineer relatively unhurt a couple feet away from where he operated the computer seconds ago, just a nasty looking head wound grazing his smoke and ash covered face. But that's not what captures the Soldier's attention. The Soldier looks for danger first and foremost, and there are three agents now encircling Tony, guns pointed at the disoriented man.

" _Unacceptable_!" the Soldier thinks, his mind going through available fighting options.

"Not gonna repeat myself this time, Asset!" Rumlow walks around us, just enough to get to our peripheral vision. "Stand down. Or they'll shoot him."

The situation seems impossible to solve, but as always, Tony has a plan - attack.

"Don't listen to him! Bash his ugly face in instead, he won't do shit to me!" he yells at the Soldier the second he realizes his predicament.

The Soldier hesitates. Some time ago, he would obey Tony's order instantly, without much thought. But that was before the Soldier started to make his own decisions, set his own missions...before Tony's safety became the top priority mission.

That single second of hesitation proves to be the decisive mistake.

"Watch out!"

Something hits our right arm, piercing flesh and spreading pain like wildfire. The Soldier staggers, but whether he goes down I can't tell, because my vision darkens.

The last thing I see before I lose all senses is Tony's horrified face.

And then there's nothing.


	7. Sins of our Masters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being kidnapped is just as fun as Tony Stark remembers. What the Soldier remembers isn't so fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! ^^ Here comes chapter seven and uhm...it's an angsty rollecoaster from here onward. At least for a while :3 I promise I'll make it all better! ...maybe :D 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and kudos, you are awesome!!! <3 So without any further ado, please, sit back and enjoy the read ^^

_[**> >> Chapter Soundtrack <<<** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k8es2BNloE&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCzTbsPfJINIguOyOQZxD9b) _

 

I could kill for an aspirin right about now. And I'd know exactly who to kill too. I woke up on this hard, cold floor a while back, hands in rusty metal shackles, the room dim and damp. Like a cave...no, nope, let's _not_.

The only reason I managed to chase off the initial panic was James's still, but very real presence on the other side of this...cell? Looks more like a big cleaning cupboard. Big, dark and wet. Someone's out to get me, obviously. If the panic doesn't kill me, it might just be tetanus.

I hear the rusty - seriously, what _is_ this place - door creak open, a number of silhouettes entering through, heavy issue boots echoing in the spacey room along with the distinct sound of high heels on concrete.

Every fiber of my being wishes it's Natasha, but hey...can't blame a concussed, confused engineer half way into a panic attack for wistful thinking. Of course the voice that speaks up doesn't belong to my favorite Russian ninja spy.

"Mister Stark. How delightful it is to finally meet you! Apologies for the circumstances but one can never be too careful when it comes to the two of you. You have a nasty habit of breaking out of prison, leaving the guards blown up in your wake. Now, _I'm_ not going to be that stupid."

I snort, really _really_ trying to stop my mouth from running wild but I'm still working on the shutting up thing. And me working on it isn’t working. "I've got no idea who you are, lady, so can't really confirm your self-proclaimed intelligence."

Pair of heavy boots stride toward me and the next thing I know I'm laying back on the floor, my head throbbing with a new wave of pain, undoubtedly inflicted by that goon’s right hook.

"Mind his head, Demitri, I might still want to have my way with that brain."

"Oh yeah? Well fuck you, my brain is already taken. Gotta woo it first you kn - ooough!" A kick to the stomach, how original. And still as painful as I remember.

"Let's make this simple, shall we, Mister Stark."

"I was just about to offer that myself," I grunt out, trying to see into the woman's face, but it's blending with the darkness of the room.

"You will tell me everything you know about the new Avengers HQ. The layout, the security, the personnel guarding it...everything."

"Yeah um, how about _no_. Don't be insulted or anything, but I'm not really a part of that new gang, I don't know anything about the new base."

"And the hell is about to freeze over isn't it? Mister Stark, please...while I'm still _asking_."

"Ohhhh noooo…and when you stop asking you’re going to what...torture me? If I don't tell you what I really don't know? Oh my, what am I going to do! Oh I know - nothing. I'm gonna do nothing about it. So you just do whatever _you_ want. The more you torture me the more I won't tell you anything. The more you threaten me the more pathetic you'll look and the more time you keep me in here alive the more time I'll have to find a way out and then _I_ will have a way with _you_ , lady!"

"Maybe I should just kill you then, is what you're saying."

"Well...there's that. _Or_ you could just let me go and we can forget all about this awkward meeting."

"Sounds like a great plan, actually. Then, I suppose, you don't care about what happens with dear...Sergeant Barnes over here, tsk tsk. Because what I'm thinking is a nice, long wiping session coupled with some years in the ice and then...well...the Asset might get an urgent mission to kill yet another Stark! That'll be so much fun, don't you think?"

I gulp. I've read enough in Hydra's archive about the wiping and conditioning procedures to give me a whole new batch of nightmares. There's no fucking way I'm letting that happen to the man again. Wait... _another_ Stark. What the...

"I can tell you are reconsidering, Mister Stark," she leers, smirk apparent in her voice.

"And what are you, Derren Brown?" Demitri makes sure to make this kick particularly painful. Did he crack my ribs just now? Sure feels like it. God, I should shut up…

"This is the last time I am asking nicely. What is it going to be, Mister Stark?"

I glance at the disturbingly still form of James Barnes and I can’t help the surge of protectiveness fueling my determination. Not just because this is Captain Perfect’s best friend and Steve would either kill me or give me the kicked puppy look for the rest of my life if I let anything happen to him, but...because he's _my_ friend. Not just James but the Soldier too. The past few weeks would have been hell without them. I'd probably spend them drunk engineering, holed up in the workshop, hiding from the world.

Instead, we somehow managed to fall into a comfortable...domestic routine. Working on the arm and designing new weapons and light armor with the Soldier, tinkering on engines and the bots with James, talking about this and that...upgrading FRIDAY to handle the Tower - and failing.

I failed so much. With Ultron...and JARVIS...and now I let HYDRA get their hands back on James and the Soldier. He would have been better off without me…

"Mister Stark," she barks impatiently.

"My head feels like a gong, can't even give a guy a second?! Jesus...let me get this straight. I'll tell you a top secret information about top secret Avengers base of operation and you'll use it to do God knows what...nothing good I'm sure. How is this a good deal for me again? And don't give me some 'I'll let you live' bullshit."

She finally moves close enough for her face to be illuminated by the feint light coming from the ceiling lamp. She looks like no one I've ever met...but that twisted smirk, that one I recognize. Seen it on my own face way too many times.

"I'll let you live...and you can keep your pet over here too. Unharmed."

"Pffft, and I'm supposed to believe that?! You've spent a fortune on trying to recapture him…hell you’ve spent a fortune conditioning him to be your perfect weapon and now you're just gonna let him rot in here? Let's not insult each other's intelligence, lady."

"I know about his mission," she confesses casually.

"What mission?"

"I thought we aren't going to insult each other's intelligence."

"I'm not...just gotta be specific. The last mission he had was making omelets so..."

"Operation Wings!" She hisses at me.

"Ah... _that_ one. What a mission, am I right? I mean Zola really went full retard on you there, didn't he?"

She rolls her eyes and turns around, walking slowly back to her pack of gorillas, Dimitri thankfully following suit. "It's a top priority mission. And that is a problem, since the Asset is programmed to finish such missions no matter what it takes. They can’t be simply skipped or erased. You see how that's a complication for us."

"Yeah, if I had a heart it would bleed for ya...not."

"Do we have a deal, Mister Stark?"

I need time. I need more time to figure out how to get us out of here. Well...Fury did want to test the new HQ’s security. Might as well. "Fine. I'll tell you...not everything because hey, wouldn't want to go all in and have you kill us the second you got what you need."

She only laughs and waves at her minions, who then grab me and drag me to the exit. "Let's have a talk then. Somewhere more private and comfy."

 

**_xxxJamesBarnesxxx_ **

 

Everything is hazy when I wake up. I can barely see my shaking, shivering hand, let alone anything else in the room. The Soldier is already wide awake, eyes frantically searching for dang...for _Tony_! But there's no movement nor sound other than our speeding heartbeat and dripping water. I can only hope HYDRA left him in the Tower…alive.

I want to panic at the thought, but the Soldier's soothing presence stops my mind from spiraling in too deep.

He calms his breathing eventually, falling back into his default Soldier mode. "I know this place," he tells me carefully. "Top dangerous persons of interest are brought here. I escorted some in here myself before. They…they put me to sleep in here too."

" _Oh_." That'd explain his unease. Now that the Soldier tasted what it's like to be handled with care, his previous time with HYDRA had become a sore subject. Being brought back to a place where his memories slash nightmares come alive must be distressing. I don't remember everything they did to us, but the prospect of being subjected to it again is...

"Unacceptable," the Soldier provides and tugs on the metal restrains, holding our arm and legs down.

Our _arm_...our _one_ arm! They took the metal arm away!

"Of course. It poses the most threat," the Soldier replies casually, as if he didn't mind at all the arm is gone. "The shackles are too strong. I can't break free."

Only now I realize that the restraints are not what really holds the Soldier back, but the heaviness of whatever drugs they used to take us down. I've seen the Soldier rip stronger materials than this...he punched a god damn blast door open once, so it's definitely the drugs.

Suddenly there’s a loud creak and the doors let in a ray of cold, bluish light from the hallway. A couple of darkened figures come through, dragging a body in between them.

" _Tony_ ," the Soldier thinks and sure enough, as they dump the motionless body few feet away from us, I recognize them messy chestnut hair, now soiled with dirt...and blood.

The Soldier wastes no time and growls, deep and predator like at the two remaining men, causing them to jump in fright.

"He's awake," one of them calls back to the exit, now blocked by another shadowy figure.

"Pay the Asset no mind. The drugs will keep him at bay," a strangely sweet, female voice speaks and the men back off and out of the cell.

As soon as the doors are closed I prompt the Soldier to check on Tony, but he's completely frozen, staring at the ground.

" _Hey...what's wrong_?" He shakes his head, saying nothing, his emotions and thoughts carefully hidden. "Soldier?"

He jerks at that and draws back, fast and urgent as if he wasn't able to maintain control even if he wanted to. I let him, taking charge of our body and finally feeling the drugs’ effect first hand. I can barely move, let alone try to break out.

Deciding to give the unusually stricken Soldier some space, I turn my attention to the unmoving engineer, laying exactly where they dropped him. "Tony? Tony!"

He groans, low and muffled. "Yeah yeah...gimme a m'ment." He curses under his breath and rolls over onto his back, eyes close tight.

"Are you okay? You hurt? What did they do to you?!"

He grimaces in pain. "Slow down, buddy...I feel like the Hulk jumped on my head...repeatedly. Is the room spinning? I'm pretty s're it is."

The gash on his forehead is looking as fresh as it did back in the Tower, meaning someone had to reopen it recently - and added a number of bruises and cuts to the man's face while he was at it, since it’s now swollen and bleeding. Whoever it was, I'll kill them myself! Slow and painful.

"What happened?"

He sighs, eyes closed. "Had a little one on one with Madame Hydra."

The Soldier squirms at the mention of that name and I finally understand the reason behind his freak-out. "Was that the woman at the door just now?"

"Yep."

"The Soldier recognized her...judging from his quick retreat, he's got no happy memories attached to her."

"Neither do I," he scoffs and lets his eyes wander to us. "She wanted information. About the Avengers."

Of course she did. "Did you tell her anything?"

"Hell yeah, told her plenty," he confesses and I can't help the shocked expression that conjures on my face.

"What?! Are you crazy?! Do ya have any idea what she's capable of?! She's HYDRA's top management, she could - "

"Jeez, _relax_ ," he breathes out, flustered.

"Relax?! You want me to - "

"Take a chill pill and calm down, yes! I told her what she wanted to hear," he explains, his voice going quieter. "Some of it was true, some of it wasn't...my point is, whatever she does with that information, the Avengers can deal with it. So calm your abs and don't worry, those guys can take care of themselves."

It's my turn to scoff. "So can we and look where we're at!"

"Yeah, well, I screwed up, okay?! FRIDAY wasn't ready to take on the security protocols! That's why it was so easy for them to get around her and drop on our asses out of nowhere! I fucked up and got us captured so I'm gonna say it again - _relax_ and let me do my thing so I can get us outta here in one piece and preferably without being subjected to any more HYDRA experiments!" he blurts out, glaring at me the entire time.

I gasp...not because of Tony's outburst, but because of the Soldier's reaction. I am used to him being angry, tense, even nervous.

But never _afraid_.

The fear is coming off of the Soldier in spades now and I suddenly know that's what made him give up control before. He _feared_ Madame Hydra...and he fears what can be done to us in here.

He's a program. A weapon. He's not supposed to feel anything...let alone fear. Clearly we were all wrong about him.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean it...I'm overreacting here and the Soldier is freaking out which isn’t helpin’ one bit."

His glare dissipates but the frown stays on. "Freaking out? Why?"

"He's...afraid, Tony. Hell, he's scared shitless. This place...Madame Hydra, it's all really messing with him."

"Shit...," he spats, rolling over onto his hands in an attempt to sit up. He manages to lean against the wall, grimacing in discomfort. "I'm sorry, this was my screw up."

"Don't...it's nobody's fault. Shit happened...is the correct expression for this whole thing, right?"

His mouth quirks up, but it comes across more twisted than amused. "Yeah...shit happened. I let HYDRA take you again."

"You didn't - "

"Yes, I did! You can't bullshit me out of this one! I swore to myself I'd never let that happen! Shit...Steve is going to kill me...if HYDRA doesn't - "

"You leave Stevie for me, I'll deal with that punk! I ain’t gonna repeat myself either, Stark. This was nobody's fault. Friday wasn't ready...you can't work day and night and hope that you can recreate someone so complex as Jarvis in a matter of weeks! So stop with the blame game and take your own advice - calm your abs and let's start thinking about escape instead!"

He pouts, looking like a grumpy puppy. "Fine," he grumbles, looking stubbornly anywhere but at me.

"What?" I ask exasperatedly when he stays unnervingly silent for a long time, avoiding my gaze.

He finally looks up, his face unreadable. "Is there anything you wanna tell me?"

"Tell you? I don't - "

"She said something...Madame Hydra. Not directly, she just...mentioned it. But in between talking to her and getting my face repainted by Dimitri's fist I couldn't help but think about it."

"About what? What did she say?"

He narrows his eyes and suddenly he's an open book. There's hurt, sadness...betrayal. I have to look away from those piercing, accusing eyes...because I know the answer. I know what this is about.

"Operation Dying light," I whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear, still not meeting his eyes.

"Operation Dying light? What about - "

"It’s one of the Soldier's missions. Operation Dying light. Mission objective...," I breathe in, bracing for the inevitable. "Eliminate Howard and Maria Stark."

I dare a glance at the other man and for one torturous second his face tells me everything my nightmares have in the past few months. He quickly schools his expression into a cold, disconcerted poker face and returns to staring blankly at the ground.

"Tony?"

He jerks, but otherwise doesn't react.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know how to tell you," I utter, desperately searching for something...something other than the absolutely devastated look that burned itself into my memory. HYDRA could wipe me again, ten or a hundred times...but I won't ever forget that look. "Tony?"

He doesn't shout at me. He doesn't cry or leap across the room to punch me...and I would give anything for him to do it. Because instead, he does nothing. He says nothing.

He stays silent until hours later when the exhaustion gets to him and he falls into a restless sleep.

Only then I let the tears fall, ignoring the Soldier's quiet, soothing voice. His words are muffled by the haze of the drugs and my own inner screams. Soon, I am claimed by the welcoming darkness as well.


	8. Before I sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers HQ is under attack, Tony breaks down his walls and Madame Hydra shows her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter everyone! Sunday is here and so is the next chapter of OHHAAT ^^ I need to repeat this every time, because HOLY HYDRA all the kudos and comments, you are amazing! You're making my days, thank you so much! ^^ Sit back, let me pour you a cup of tea, and enjoy the read! 
> 
> PS: Aside from dumping a certain life story in this chapter, I kinda blamed a certain thing on a certain person, who I'm pretty sure had nothing to do with it in canon...but pfffft :D Canon, am I right? :D Also that certain person is an arsehole so, serves him right, not to mention I think he must have had his nasty-ass fingers in the whole thing anyway...I blame him! :D

**_[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAdTbE9LAtY&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCljECXVkMP2bcqwHMoMBf0) _ **

 

**_xxxSteveRogersxxx_ **

"Spain was a dead end," I tell Natasha as she casually joins me and Sam in the elevator. "He slipped past us and disappeared again."

Sam pokes me with his elbow. "Hi, Nat, how you doing? Man, have some manners!" He scolds me.

She ignores him though. "Did you see him?" She asks innocently, but I can guess what her ulterior point is.

"No. And before you ask - no, we couldn't even tell whether he was really there or not."

"Steve, you - "

"Just...don't. Please. I know I'm chasing a shadow here...but I'm not going to stop."

She cocks her head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I'm not telling you to stop. But maybe you could use some extra help. Chasing after dubious rumors is dangerous."

"Sam's got my back."

"The hell I do! But she's right. What if HYDRA uses this to set up a trap or something."

"I know...yeah, you're right. But HYDRA seems just as puzzled as we are. We recognized a couple of their operatives lurking around the suspected Winter Soldier's hideout...looks like we're not the only ones getting duped by him."

"He doesn't wanna be found, that's clear as day," Sam adds and steps outside the elevator, coming face to face with Fury.

"Y'all know what's clear as day?" He barks at us, watching us vigilantly with his eye while we all come out into the corridor. "That you're wasting time and resources on nothing but gossip! I'm not sanctioning another escapade like this until you have a reliable, confirmed info on that man!"

"With all due respect - "

"With all due respect, Captain, I can't let HYDRA figure out you fly wherever some crazy-ass bird sings! They might just figure a supersoldier or assassin is one and the same, as long as he serves their purpose they'll take either. So take Romanov's advice and get some help on this. We've got sources abroad...or ask Stark, he's got methods of his own."

"I think Tony is already busy enough these days. Haven't heard a word from his since..."

"Yeah. Me neither," Natasha comments with a frown.

"Call him in on this then! And if he's still busy, think of something yourself, but you ain't going to go in blind again, Captain. Understood?" Fury pierces me with his glare and leaves us alone only after I promise him not to follow any more random echoes.

"How long do you think he'll be at it?" Nat asks once she decides Fury is far enough.

"Bucky? I don't know. I don't understand what he's after...killing HYDRA and all that."

She rolls her eyes, exchanging a somewhat knowing look with Sam. "Seriously, Steve? I know he's your friend and you got this whole war buddies end of the line deal going on, but you've got other friends too...remember?"

"Of course! I know that but...I'm prioritizing here, Nat, Bucky needs me!"

"He seems to be doing just fine on his own," she deadpans.

"No offence there, my man, but the lady's right... _again_ ," Sam agrees, shooting an apologetic look my way. "He's on some crazy weird mission to kill the entire HYDRA or something."

"That's not Bucky!"

"Or maybe it is. It's not the Winter Soldier, I can tell you that much," Natasha argues. "It's not the Bucky you knew either. Can't believe I'm saying this but...Tony was right. You'll be bringing back more than Bucky...seventy years worth of HYDRA brainwashing and conditioning, all those people's blood on his hands - not saying that's his fault - but Steve...you don't just deal with all that in one day. Go back to when you woke up after being unfrozen...suddenly thrown into this unfamiliar future, everyone you knew was gone, didn't know who to trust...on top of that, imagine you found out you've been working for the one organization you fought against in the war...doing all their bidding, becoming their weapon...a thing. Not a human anymore, just a thing. Give the man time...maybe that's all he needs."

"Or maybe all he needs is a familiar face. An old friend, perhaps!" I bark at her, not really meaning to be so harsh but they just don't understand!

"Even you can't be that naïve!" She utters in disbelieve.

"I'm not being naïve! He's my friend, I've known him my entire life! I dare say I know him better than you!"

She looks ready to fight. With _words_ , although with Nat one can never be sure. In the end she just sighs, her eyes closing tiredly. "Nobody's seen Stark since we started training. Nobody's even talked to him. I only know he's still alive because he keeps replying to Pepper's SI reports. So if you can't be a friend, at least be the Captain and go check on your teammate before he drinks himself to death in his workshop," she pretty much commands and rounds the corner, striding away from us.

I raise my eyebrows at Sam, fully expecting him to take Nat's side on this.

"Hey, naaah, don't give me that look. I ain’t gonna tell you what to do. But you said it yourself. We all need a familiar face sometimes...I don't know Stark well enough to qualify so..."

I nod, leading us through the hallways to the locker rooms. The truth is I don't really want to bring Tony into this. He...he's got enough of his own demons to deal with. Not to mention our friendship had suffered through the recent events... we managed to end on a good note and I'd like it to stay that way. But maybe...just maybe he would be able to help...and just maybe we'd be able to help each other. "I'll go see him. Finding Bucky is quite the challenge...that oughta help him get his mind off of things."

"That's the spirit!" He clasps my shoulder enthusiastically and grimaces, opening the locker room’s door. "Oooh, where are the showers at, man, we reek!"

I chuckle and kick him playfully. Nat's right, of course. I've got a bunch of good friends now. And once I get Bucky back, I'll be the happiest I've been since I woke up from the ice. I'll do whatever it takes.

" _Security breach! Security breach! Security breach!_ " The monotonous voice of the HQ security program starts chanting and within seconds the hallway fills with SHIELD personnel, Natasha appearing out of nowhere with Vision close behind as well.

"Oh come on!" Sam groans and closes the door. "If this thing's malfunctioning again, I swear I'm gonna use Fury as target practice.

"Shower will have to wait," I tell him grimly and turn around towards the other two. "Well, time to assemble folks!"

Tony will have to wait too.

 

**_XxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

 

"Did you know him well?" I blurt out, voice hoarse, quiet.

James's head snaps up, the dark circles under his eyes deeper and blacker than ever. It's the first thing I've said in the past...I don't even know, I've lost track of time since I fell asleep. It must have been at least a day...it feels like a day.

Dimitri even brought us something to eat a while ago...something that looks like it was fished out of a garbage can. The garbage platter was ignored since. My hunger simply dissipated at the sight and James...well he can't really move from where he is. And then there's this issue of his missing left hand.

The solution is simple: someone's got to feed the man and looking around the damn cell, I don't see that many options. But casually feeding a guy you are trying to give an angry silent treatment to isn't really all that possible. So it's down to leaving him and his crazy kinda supersoldier metabolism starve...or break the angry silence.

Now's not the time to be having this talk, but it's also not the time to be mad at each other. We can do that when we get outta here. Or preferably never do that ever, period.

He keeps staring at me, confused...hopeful. Shit. I'm a fucking asshole.

I let out a tired breath, looking at him with an equally tired expression. "Howard. Did you know him?"

"I...I'm not sure," he replies thoughtfully. "He worked with the Commandos...kinda like you work with the Avengers. I don't remember if I got to know him beyond that. Stevie probably did, but I..." He trails off, face scrunched up as if he wanted to solve a particularly complex problem.

I slowly nod, shifting on the cold ground just enough to sit more comfortably while talking to him. "You didn't miss much. There's one person who would disagree on the matter, but unlike _him_ I only knew Howard as my father, not the quirky and fun engineer of the forties. And in the father department...let's say it would've been better for you to remember him as the quirky and fun engineer," I give the tentatively listening soldier a serious look. "The war changed him. He started drinking, shutting himself off in his workshop, obsessing about finding Captain America...aunt Peggy was the only one capable of straightening him up for a while...wouldn't expect any less of her," I smile fondly at the memory of the formidable agent.

"Peggy as in...agent Carter? _The_ Peggy?" He asks uncertainly, almost afraid to speak.

" _The_ one and only. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met...her and Pepper. Oh god if those two ever met, HYDRA wouldn’t last a day. They'd self destruct if they know what's good for them."

He chuckles lightly. "Is she still alive?"

"Yeah but…," I sigh. "She’s got Alzheimer’s...anytime I visit she’d call me Howard, on good days. On bad ones she wouldn’t remember even her own name. But she's led a long, good life. Got married to this dude you guys have saved during World War II, has kids...Steve was...well he was glad and all that good guy jab, but I bet he'd deck the husband in the face if he was found earlier."

"I think he would, yeah. Friend or not, for Peggy he'd fight anyone...even me. And I'm pretty sure Howard was this close to getting the fist of freedom and justice to the face," he laughs and I join in.

I should have known Peggy was capable of breaking arguments even from the grave. The atmosphere lifts, filled with our genuine laughter. James's momentary joy is however short-lived when he realizes what he said. Fuck...why does everything have to lead back to Howard?

I can see the litany of apologies forming on his tongue so I jump in. "Don't. I know what you're thinking. Shit, I don't want to know what you were thinking this entire time...my point is - _don't_. I know Howard's accident wasn't an accident. I know the man responsible and he's dead," I tell him, his eyes widening before they avert to the floor, shame flashing through them like lightning. "He's dead, James. I killed him myself."

" _I_ killed Howard!" He barks though, not meeting my gaze. "The Soldier killed him. Him and your mother both! There's nobody more responsible than us!"

Infuriating. Absolutely one hundred percent infuriating - this guy. He and Steve are perfect for each other, both stubborn, self-sacrificing, martyring idiots!

"Look at me," I ask, not wanting to sound commanding, but his eyes stay firmly locked onto the ground so I drop everything. Every mask I've ever created and put on, all the snark, flirtation, fake cheer and confidence - down. The last person I've felt comfortable putting my walls down for was Pepper. I think she couldn't quite handle what she found beyond those walls. And I can't blame her for that... _I_ can't handle myself on most days. But here goes nothing. "Look at me, soldier," I tell him more urgently now, but as soft as I can manage. "James, please."

He looks up hesitantly, searching for something in my eyes. I don't know what, but he must have found it, because he doesn't look away anymore.

"When my parents died, the company was this close from being sold or acquired. I was drinking myself to oblivion and couldn't really give a crap about what happens to Stark Industries. Until Obie...Obadiah Stane, my father's business partner and family friend brought me in...more like threw me off a cliff into a storming sea full of sharks to teach me how to swim. He groomed me, supported me, watched me become the....the Merchant of Death and I _loved_ every second of it. I designed the most efficient weapons in the world and multiplied SI capital by the billions in just the first decade. Gave back to society through Maria Stark foundation...mostly to keep up appearances. Not to mention I got all the girls, the guys...sometimes both at the same time...more alcohol than I could drink alone and more fast cars than I could drive before getting bored. And that was it. The story of the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark."

I give him a second to soak it all up before continuing. He seems confused more than anything.

"Until one hot day in Afghanistan when all of that went up in flames...literal flames. I got hit by my own missile...pieces of shrapnel burying close to my heart...almost killing me. I spent three months in a dark Afghani cave after that, hooked to a car battery, getting dunked into buckets of freezing water and having some third world goons threaten me into making them my newest batch of murder missiles. Needless to say I didn't do that...instead I build myself an arc reactor and the first prototype of the Iron Man armor and blasted my way outta there."

I pause, trying not to go back to that cave...one so similar to the one we're holed up in right now. Just as humid, just as dark...

"Go on," James prompts me, his voice breaking.

I shrug, not sure how to even say the rest. "I got out...at a cost of somebody else's life. Jinsen...he saved my life twice in three months...and didn't make it. He told me not to waste my life and I was hell-bent on not wasting it. I shut down the weapon production and instead turned to clean energy. Which is where the story started unfolding. Turned out...turned out family friend, best of the best, all knowing Obadiah Stane was double dealing. Selling my weapons under the table to terrorists...among others. When I was gone, the company was run by him...that was his plan all along, when I got too carried away and too unpredictable…and too good at what I did, he hired Ten Rings to stage the kidnapping. I was never meant to get out of Afghanistan."

Just thinking about Stane makes my blood boil. My hand travels to my chest involuntarily. There's nothing there anymore, nothing but the scars, yet the memories are as vivid as ever. 

"So when that backfired on him, he decided to just kill me and reap all the benefits of my latest project. He...he ripped the arc reactor from my chest...it was the only thing that kept the shrapnels away from piercing my heart. I know you saw the scars in the workshop at one point...that's where it used to be. And he just took it...and left me for dead. Obviously that backfired too because," I smirk, pointing at myself, "here I am. DUM-E helped me get my old reactor, I fired up the armor and blasted the living crap out of Stane."

James looks like he wants to burst into a million questions, but instead he keeps his eyes fixed on me, patient.

"My point is...this wasn't the first time a Stark got outta hand. Howard might have been a shit father, but he was an A+ businessman, drunk or not. If Stane wanted to double deal, Howard would find out sooner rather than later...so he had him disposed of. He ordered the hit on him and my mother. I didn't know it was Hydra on his paycheck. I didn't know...I didn't know it was the Soldier who carried it out. But I knew for a fact Stane was the man behind that accident. _He_ is to blame. And I blamed him...and then I killed him. With that done...it's over. There are no more debts to be paid no more people to blame and kill. There's no more revenge left in me when it comes to my parents," I finish with a determined stare, daring James to oppose me.

He doesn't. Not exactly. "The Soldier doesn't understand what he's done. For him it was just...a mission..."

"Good," I deadpan. " _You_ blaming yourself is enough for the both of you. Don't confuse the Soldier with guilt. Not before he understands the meaning of 'not your fucking fault'."

He smiles at that - a small but a very real and handsome smile and stays quiet for a moment before looking at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about Stane," he adds quickly when he sees me already coming up with a lecture on...hold on...

"Wait...what? Stane? You're sorry about _Stane_?!"

"I'm sorry he put you in such a position."

"What - "

"He betrayed your trust. He was one of your closest friends and he betrayed your trust...that's messed up. I don't know how you do it...how you can trust anyone again...I don't know how you can ever trust _me_ after I - "

"After you spent seventy years being a toy for Hydra to fuck with, being forced to do things you would never do through the Soldier...who was ordered to do them and obeyed. Because that's what he was programmed to do, he didn't know anything else but obedience. So for the last time...I don't blame either of you. Did it surprise me? Yes. Was I not ready to find out this way? Yes. Am I over it now? I'm getting there. Do I trust the both of you? If I didn't...JARVIS would have whooped your ass and disposed of your body months ago. I'm a big bag of paranoia since Stane, sure...so I'm cautious and distanced...but I’d like to think I can figure out who to trust just fine now. And I trust you… _both_ ," I state simply.

If James was shocked before, he's positively stricken now. "I... _we_ trust you too."

It is strangely relieving to hear that, it makes me ease up and relax despite the constant edge of panic in my mind, caused by the surroundings. A part of me wants to argue that he sure as hell doesn't have any reason to trust me after I failed to keep him away from Hydra...but looks like he's one step ahead of me.

"We trust you to get us all outta here," he adds sternly, determined to make me believe it...so I do.

We fall into a rather comfortable chitchat after this - followed by a rather uncomfortable eating time...but I feel like I can finally breathe, confident enough to push the panic away completely in favor of scheming about escape. Gotta get James free of those shackles and drugs...that would make things easier. Gotta get his arm too. Yeah, let's work with that.

I still can't believe I just dumped all that on him...not even the censored version Pepper knows, or the short story Fury thinks he knows. Nah. I went all in with James...and I'm glad I did. I'm glad he knows and that he just accepted it, accepted everything about it without being sorry for me or disgusted by me or...worse. I don't know where that puts him now...but I'll be more than happy to start with a 'friend'. A good friend. Yeah...I think I'd like that.

Eventually I doze off, thoughts of how ugly this little misunderstanding between the two...the three of us could have gotten. In a way, I should be thanking HYDRA...locking them boys together in a cell obviously works great when it comes to conflict. Go figure.

 

###

 

I wake up after what I can only imagine was a long undisturbed sleep. I feel well rested even though sleeping on the ground left me all sore and broken. Time to get started on that escape plan.

The doors scream open, nobody else but ugly-ass Rumlow – someone really did a number on that guy’s front door - walking with a smug as fuck face up to me.

"Mornin' sunshine," he sings sleazily and gestures to his two goons...let’s call them _Pickle_ and _Lick'um_...to pick me up.

I look over to James, hoping he's still out and won't make a scene seeing this...but he's not there. I scan over the entire room, hoping I have just overloaded my own brain and forgot where he was sitting at, but the cell is otherwise empty.

"Where's Barnes?!" I holler at the even more smug Rumlow before I'm being shoved out of the cell and through the hallways. I remember this route...it leads to Madame Hydra’s ‘interrogation’ room. "Where is he?!" I try again, but get nothing but a chuckle in reply. I attempt to swallow the onset of panic, but once I'm pushed into the room I can't help but freeze.

"Ah! Mister Stark, finally. I was holding off this event just for you, I mean...it would hardly be a party without you," Madame Hydra smiles, wide and terrifying. "I must thank you for your cooperation...didn't expect any less of you. Giving me so much diabolical information about the Avengers HQ was truly brilliant of you...luckily I've only sent a couple of disposable pawns to test it out."

I don't know if she's waiting for me to say something and I don't care. I can't. I keep staring into the stone cold grey eyes of the man next to her.

"The information was legit," I whisper, not trusting my voice with anything louder. "You said - "

"And I lied!" She raises her voice and walks into my line if sight. "I've known about operation Wings for months. You think I've been idly sitting in my Hawaii villa and watching my bases getting raided by the Winter Soldier?! No...Mister Stark. I tried to figure out what to do...to get our Asset back. Sure, the top priority mission is bothersome, but I worked relentlessly on how to get around it. And voilà! I think I managed just that."

My eyes flicker back to the Soldier's...searching for something...anything...but his eyes are dead, no spark of recognition or even any emotion at all. Just a pair of deathly eyes and a mask staring back at me... _The Winter Soldier_. Not James, not the Soldier...this is Hydra's weapon all over again.

I glance back at Madame Hydra, letting all the rage and hate and even the fear show in that one singular glare I send her way.

"Care to prove my point, Mister Stark?" She asks and I already know what's about to happen. She steps aside and addresses the Sold...no...the _Asset_. I can't think of him as either of them...I can't...I don't want my last memory to be of - "Confirm new mission, Asset! Eliminate Anthony Edward Stark. Now!" She commands and falls back behind the Asset.

I watch as he raises his metal hand, once again back in its place, fingers gripped tightly around a trigger of a gun, now pointed directly at my head. His eyes focus on me for the first time since I've entered the room and I try to keep my eyes fixed on his, but I can't...

"Mission confirmed," he replies in that empty, stranger’s voice and I shut my eyes closed, waiting for the final click to sound.

And when it does, it's swift and painless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...so...that happened... *runs and hides*


	9. More than my Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Priorities are revealed all around. Some trusts are broken, while others form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday, yay! So here's the much awaited conclusion to the previous chapter, hope you'll like it! ^^ Also, you might have noticed I had finalized the chapter count to 14, which should not change - unless I go mental while editing :D So five more chapters guyssss~ I am participating in April NaNo Camp, but I have made it my top priority mission to finish this story before I dive into my own project, so schedule still stands for regular Sunday updates \o/
> 
> Thank you all for the love, I haven't written anything in such a long time so believe me when I say all your feedback just makes my days and melts me away with joy ~ You're the best!

_**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-He6EzP5zY&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBzank5manddJHaSpyEalas) ** _

 

**_xxxTheWinterSoldierxxx_ **

"Confirm new mission, Asset! Eliminate Anthony Edward Stark. Now!"

Mission issued by Madame Hydra. The Handler. Top clearance. The Asset must obey.

"Mission confirmed," the Asset replies and moves to proceed, pointing his gun at the target - Anthony Edward Stark... _Tony Stark_ …

Error.

_Operation Wings. A Top-priority mission._

_Mission Objective: Recover James Buchanan Barnes._

_Additional Objective: Protect the Handler – Tony Stark._

_Orders: Specified in file #465._

_Mission deadline: Unknown._

_Handler: Tony Stark. The Iron Man._

 

Eliminate...protect...protecting Operation Wings' Handler is a top priority mission. The Asset must follow the top priority mission. Top priority mission cannot be ignored. Failure unacceptable. The Asset must obey the new Handler instead.

Eliminate all threats to the Handler - Anthony Edward Stark. Mission confirmed.

Ignoring the Handler, the Asset fires at the two agents currently apprehending the Handler. He moves quick and shoots with deadly precision, as is expected of him.

The two agents crumple to the ground, each with a bullet in the head.

"What the - " the agent by the door exclaims - Brock Rumlow, codename Crossbones. Extremely dangerous. Poses the most threat to the Handler. Must be subdued.

He shoves the Handler aside, out of danger's way and tackles Rumlow against the wall, locking him in a tight choke hold.

More shots ring through the cell - the Handler seized the dead agents' weapons and is now shooting at the retreating form of Madame Hydra and her escort. He hits one, but the group manages to fall back through the side door. The Asset is impressed by the Handler’s quick thinking, but the Asset’s observations do not matter.

The struggling form of agent Rumlow stills in his arms and the Asset lets him fall to the ground unceremoniously. He could easily snap his neck and kill him, but killing him is not his mission. Crossbones is a high level operative, he must be given orders regarding his disposal first.

The Handler locks both exits, preventing any more threats from entering the room, but also cutting off their way out. The Asset must await further orders from the Handler then.

"Whoa...that was uh...unexpected," the Handler breathes heavily, staring at the Asset with wide eyes. "Um...Soldier?" He asks the Asset.

The Asset is not to be addressed as the Soldier, unless it's his full codename. The Asset must not respond to the question otherwise he will be severely punished. It must be a test.

"I see...you must still be in the...Asset mode, huh? _Huh_. Why didn't you kill me then?" the Handler mumbles quietly, but the Asset must reply now that he is being addressed properly.

"Operation Wings, top priority mission. Side objective - protect the Handler Tony Stark."

The Handler looks confused, as if he has never heard about the mission. He must have been the one who gave it to the Asset though.

"Top priority mission," he blurts out, eyes widening even more - this time in realization. "Top priority mission can't be ignored...must be followed no matter what."

The Asset nods.

"You added that bit into the mission yourself...you're brilliant! You're absolutely...you've got no idea what's going on do you...shit. Um...is there some kinda...infuriating voice inside your head by any chance?"

The Asset doesn't understand. There is no voice. "No."

"Shit! We...we're gonna have to figure that out later. We need to get out of here now."

The Asset knows the exact layout of this base, that shouldn't be a problem. "There are three possible ways out - "

"Yeah, yeah, I'm way ahead of you, darling. At least FRIDAY should be way ahead of us. You better not have thought I just told Madame Buzzkill top secret security layout of the new Avengers base without having an agenda of my own."

The room suddenly shakes violently, a result of some kind of explosion, but the Asset doesn't waste time pondering the source. He moves over to the Handler, shielding him from the so far harmless pieces of debris falling down from the ceiling.

"Speaking of which, I believe our taxi has arrived!" He grins and gives the Asset a strange look. "Why don't you uh...go search the bodies for a cellphone or something. I'll be fine just here, FRIDAY won't level the place to the ground with us still in it...I _think_."

"Understood," the Asset confirms and soon finds what the Handler asked for in one of the dead agent's jacket.

"Yes! Perfect...gimme," the Handler grabs the phone and briskly dials a number on it. "FRIDAY! Light of my life, you're all grown up now! Well...you're at least a teenager now, that's for sure. What... _what_?! You see, that's why we can't have nice things! Oh you...I take it back, you're still a baby! Fine, whatever, meet us there then and don't forget to...FRIDAY? Fr...she hung up on me...can you believe this?!" He tells the Asset and moves toward the side door. "Gonna have to clear our way to the southeast exit."

"Understood," the Asset nods and moves ahead, barging through the door and leading the way.

"The Asset mode is so creepy...just saying. You're worse than a robot...hell even Dum-E has a more complex programming than this...I mean, of course he does, _I_ created him. I guess the Soldier is really something special...if he started out with this as a default."

The Handler seems very impressed with this...Soldier. The Asset must not be addressed as such, because...he’s the Asset, no one else. No matter who the Soldier is, the Asset can impress the Handler just as much, of that the Asset is certain.

They cut the corner leading to the last, long corridor heading straight for the exit, but they come face to face with four agents, one of which the Asset recognizes.

_Alonso Termento. The Wicker. Top-level operative. He's in charge of this base. He's...he's..._

The Handler shoots first and the Asset naturally follows suit and takes down two of the other agents before moving onto the Wicker, trading just a couple of punches before he grips his throat with the metal arm, ready to finish him. But the Asset must be ordered to do so first. The Asset cannot kill top management unless ordered...unless...unless...

"That tattoo!" The Handler all but shouts for the entire base to hear and points at the complex geometrical tattoo on the man's neck. "That guy's in the file! File #465, do you remember that one?"

"Operation Wings orders file."

" _Exactly_ that one! Well, whaddya know...if this works the way I think it works then killing him will solve this whole mess!" The Handler exclaims victoriously and looks at the Asset expectantly.

"Are those the orders?" The Asset asks for good measure, ignoring the squirming agent, now fighting his grip with all the strength he can. But he cannot overpower the Asset.

"Right, orders...forgot that's what you were all about. Eliminate...this guy here, those are the orders."

"Eliminate Alonso Termento, the Wicker. Mission confirmed," the Asset recites and proceeds to choke the agent, until he's a lifeless weight, sliding against the wall. "Mission complete."

That's when something stirs within the Asset...some...one? A presence, strong and intimidating. But the Asset doesn't have enough time to analyze who's just invaded his mind, because a second later his senses abandon him, the world darkening, spinning out of control. He's falling to the ground, but he never makes it there. Something solid and just as strong as the alien presence inside him stops him in the descent.

Before he gives in to the familiar sensation of losing consciousness, he fears he's just failed his Handler, that he should stay awake and protect him, get him out of the base. But when the Handler spokes, a soft, gentle breath against his ear, he relaxes. Because the Asset...no...the _Soldier_ remembers!

"I've got you, Soldier. I've got you."

 

**_xxxJamesBarnesxxx_ **

 

I'm never going to get used to this, am I? Damn those memories...always mess with me so much. Wait...memories? We weren't on a mission, we were...

I jerk up on the oddly comfortable sofa, scanning my surroundings in panic. HYDRA! We were with HYDRA and they had Tony and they beat him and then they...the Chair, they used the Chair and...

" _Calm down_."

That's the Soldier, quiet and somewhat hazy at the back of my mind, but he's there and he's...himself. Calm, no hint of fear in his presence at all. But...but...

" _Look around you_."

I do as I'm told, eyes finally focusing on the room we're in. This isn't the HYDRA cell, not even the base. It's one of the living rooms in the Avengers Tower.

" _We're home_ ," the Soldier adds and I make a mental note to talk about that little statement with him later, when I'm not busy fighting panic.

"How did we...what happened? I only remember..."

_The Chair_. I don't need to say it out loud for the Soldier to understand.

" _The wipe worked. It resetted my programming and put operation Wings on hold_."

"That's why I don't remember anything after the Chair."

" _Yes_."

"But I'm back now...we both are."

" _We killed a target from the #465 file. After Madame Hydra ordered us to kill Tony_ ," he says, unfazed.

"She did _what_?! Wait...did we - "

" _It triggered operation Wings again. Protecting him is part of the mission now, so when the orders clashed I chose to follow the top priority mission_."

I sigh in relief. "He's okay," I state, deducing it from the Soldier's lack of panic. "He got us out," I guess and the Soldier hums in confirmation.

" _I helped_."

That startles a laugh out of me. I let my body hit the comfy cushions of the sofa, enjoying their warmth, their softness and the peculiar mix of scents. It smells familiar...

" _Tony_ ," the Soldier provides unnecessarily. Of course it's Tony's scent...motor oil, fancy aftershave and coffee. That combination can be nobody else's but Tony's. We must be on his floor then.

" _Welcome back, James_ ," FRIDAY chimes in from the ceiling, sounding genuinely happy to greet us. " _Is the Soldier himself again or do we have a problem_?" She asks and the Soldier automatically growls.

"He's back to his Growling self, so no, we're gonna have no problem here. Is Tony around?"

" _Boss is on the roof at the moment. If you're feeling up to it, you are welcomed to join him there_."

I breathe in the intoxicating scent of the engineer one last time and get up from the plush heaven. "Thanks, Fry. Good to have you back."

" _Likewise_ ," she replies and lets us into the private elevator, moving us up to the roof in no time.

Despite the darkness at the living room, I find it's actually light outside, probably an early morning. I never thought I'd welcome the loudness of the ever busy New York, but after just a few days locked inside the quiet HYDRA prison I immediately relax as I step onto the roof. Whatever panic still remains on my mind dissipates at the sight of Tony, laying on one of the sunbeds with a content, although tired expression wrinkling his face.

Except for the gash on his forehead, now properly patched up and no longer bleeding, he looks otherwise unharmed, but I do remember he's got quite the beating from Madame Hydra's goons so I'm not fooled. I can tell his ribs and abdomen are giving him hard time from the way he's laying, careful not to cause any more discomfort.

"Tony?"

His eyes blink open. "Oh! Hey...you're awake!"

"Yes...we both are," I add when the Soldier snarls at me playfully. Tony sits up slowly, mindful of his suspected injuries. I sit down opposite of him, close enough our knees are touching. "Awake and just fine...a bit shaken...but fine."

He groans, shoulders slumping. "Shit, James...just... _shit_!"

I know what's about to follow...a speech about how this was all his fault and how he should've never let it happen and how I'd be better off with another Handler...if the past two weeks thought me something about this man, it's how he can spin everything against himself. I wonder who was the cause of this...who made him blame himself no matter who's actually at fault. If it was Howard I'm gonna travel back in time and actually deck him in the face. And then I'd have to punch myself too, coz I know I can be the same, stubborn asshole.

"Not your fucking fault," I say before his brain can process anything that would confirm my thoughts just now. "You really gotta learn how to take your own advice. So don't bother with the guilt, until you understand this. _It's not your fucking fault_."

His mouth clasps shut and for a full minute he just stares at me, mixture of emotions running across his face. It settles on blank. "You...you've got no idea how much you'd break Steve with what you've just said...like...so much! He would fall on the ground sobbing about language," he blurts out and starts laughing all of a sudden.

I frown. "Stevie can swear like an old sailor if he wants, I doubt a few fucks would break him."

"Yeah...right," he laughs even harder.

"Uh, yeah, hello? We were in the army...so if old granpa Gilliger hadn't taught us how to swear when we were ten years old, army sure as hell would have."

He laughs for a second or two, before straightening uncertainly. "You're serious...holy shit you are! Sure, he drops a teeny tiny swear here and there but...you gotta make him swear like an old sailor, you gotta prove this or I will declare this memory of yours officially defect."

"No problem...I'm sure he'll swear plenty when we finally meet again."

"Deal...remind me to bring a camera!" He smirks but suddenly goes from playful to serious in a split of a second. “They had no idea…the Avengers. According to Fry we’ve been gone for almost a week…and they _didn’t even notice_ ,” he scoffs and I can tell he’s hurt by the fact. Hell, I kinda am too. They’re supposed to be a team god dammit, no matter what happened in the past couple of weeks, Stevie’s got no excuse to why he didn’t know his teammate and friend was not only missing but _kidnapped_ by HYDRA. Well…there’s one excuse…

“That’s probably my fault, Tony. Knowing that punk, he’s so hell-bent on bringing me back that he’s put everything…and everyone to the side lines,” I say apologetically, but Tony chuckles humorlessly at that.

“You two are really something…but don’t. Don’t apologize for him, I’m sure the mighty Captain America is not above apologizing himself, once he realizes his mistakes.”

“True, but it’s my fau – “

“Yaddy yadda…I don’t care whose fault it is. You’re his best friend since when…17th century or something? I can’t be too mad that he’d forget little old Tony Stark in favor of you. Can’t even be mad at _you_ , because I’m pretty sure if I were in Steve’s shoes, I’d be doing the same thing. So…yeah. It’s not all on Steve’s shoulders anyway. The others have no excuses whatsoever. I had expected Natasha or Rhodey would have found out at least, but…I guess my latest stunt drove everyone away from me. Serves me right.”

“No,” I state resolutely, in unison with the Soldier.

He frowns. “No? What do you mean _no_? Of fu – “

“Of fucking course _not_. You don’t just stop being friends with someone because they did something batshit crazy. I’d know, because Stevie sure as hell did batshit crazy stuff back in the days…and I most definitely did too. They _should_ have known. They should have noticed how distanced you are, they should have noticed FRIDAY was disabled, they should have been the ones leveling that HYDRA outpost with the ground while rescuing you.”

“What am I, a Disney Princess now?!” he blurts out and I’m happy to hear the amusement sneaking back into his voice. “Well…if I were a Disney Princess I’d settle for Mulan. Oh god, you haven’t seen Mulan yet, have you? Movie morning time! FRIDAY? Fire up the popcorn!”

“ _Right away, boss_ ,” she answers over my outburst of laughter.

Tony looks at me with gratitude, as if trying to tell me he understands what I’ve just told him even though he made a joke out of it immediately. Typical Tony. Speaking of typical, he promptly changes the subject. "I missed that bit where protecting the Handler became part of operation Wings by the way. When did _that_ happen?"

I look away bashfully. "Right around the time we entered the Tower to find JARVIS missing and the common room destroyed. The Soldier decided the addition is needed...he didn't want a new Handler. Which made two of us."

Tony seems speechless, but that tiny smile speaks for itself and I can’t help but mirror it.

"I heard you got our asses outta there. Care to share the story with us amnesiacs?"

He rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Not much of a story really...we should be thanking Madame Hydra actually."

"Say what?!"

"Yup. She decided to test her newly gained knowledge about the Avengers HQ and had her goons try to break through the security protocols exactly the way I told her to. One of the codes they entered in not only send the HQ heads up about the security breach, but it also reached out to FRIDAY, rebooting her and triggering the uh...race and dance protocols. All she needed was a location confirmation and she'd send the armor in to make fireworks. And that's what she did," he explains, sounding very proud of the new AI. "Was easy from there, just had to drag your ass out the back exit and then fly you across the States back to New York."

Oh… _oh_! "You...you fed her information _on purpose_."

"Tsk...of course! I can be a scum sometimes but I'm not selling the Avengers to HYDRA just like that!"

"Yeah...sorry...for thinking you actually would. How did Fry know where to send the armor though?"

"What do you mean how...she tracked you. Following the signal from your arm?" He adds when my eyebrows hit my hair in confusion. "I'm pretty sure I told you I was keeping tabs on your movements."

"Yes, you mentioned you followed me around so I figured you have a tracker somewhere but you didn't quite say where."

"Oh...well, now you know. It's in your shoulder, near the joint for the arm. I knew they would search the arm for anything suspicious, so I put it there instead. Problem is it only powers up with the arm on and active so...initial plan was to break out and find the arm. Madame Hydra decided to do the leg work for us though...not exactly how I'd want it to happen but...I'll take it," he shrugs, watching me uncertainly.

I don't know whether to gape at the man's brilliance or laugh at the fact Madame Hydra assisted us in our escape - unknowingly, but still...the Soldier makes up his mind first, because he laughs. Not a snort, a growl or a simple chuckle...but a full blown laugh.

The _Soldier_... ** _laughs_**...

"You alright?" Tony asks with a deep frown.

"Wha - me? I'm great, I'm...it's the Soldier. You...you just broke the Soldier. He's completely lost it!" I wheeze out, choking out a laugh of my own.

"You're kidding...patch him through, I wanna see that!"

"I...I _caaaan't_ ," I stutter breathlessly, tears forming in my eyes.

"Oh come on! It's not every day a guy gets to break the Winter Soldier!"

"Sure ain't," I squeak, finally succumbing to the laughing fit and falling onto the sunbed, clutching my already hurting stomach.

Tony just glares at me with the most adorable pout since the one Stevie gave me when we were eight and he wanted to sleep over at my place but couldn't.

Once I calm down enough to breathe normally, I watch the engineer, who decided to give me a moment and instead stares at the morning sky, filled with feathery clouds moving lazily to the east.

The Soldier goes quiet as well, reveling at the sight of Tony, face still scrunched up in pain, both physical and emotional. Yet his eyes...those amber eyes are clear and content, sparkling with the rays of the early sun reflecting in them. He's relaxed, as if sitting up here with us laughing at HYDRA’s incompetence at who knows how early in the morning was something he was used to do on a daily basis.

I could sure as hell get used to it. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. The Soldier hums in agreement and that's all I need to make up my mind.

"Still feeling up to taking the rest of the mission by storm?" I ask, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"The mission, Tony, keep up. Wanna still tag along or what?"

He looks taken aback by the offer, but recovers fast. "Really? Not worried about my delicate sanity anymore?"

"Nope. You're insane. Can't get any worse," I try for a bit of humor. "Also, I think we make a pretty good team...if the Soldier's story is anything to go by."

He smiles that one, special smile I can only dream of being reserved for me exclusively. "Yeah...we weren't all that bad. Need a bit of practice though."

"Is that a yes?"

"That is a _fuck yeah let’s go kick some more HYDRA butts_ yes."

I nod with the wackiest grin I can plaster on my face and let Tony blabber about how he managed to upgrade FRIDAY to perfection while I was out and how Mulan is going to be the best Disney movie I’ve ever seen until we watch Brave, because all I can do is listen to his ever-calming voice and enjoy what it feels like to trust and be trusted once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about a little fun&fluff for a while? :3 I'd say the boys deserve it, no? ^^ Let's find out next Sunday! \o/


	10. Operation HTWYH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony realizes something, James realizes something and the Soldier is already one step ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised fluff and so, fluff it is...for now :D With just four chapters left, things are about to take a spin again...but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves ^^ I am currently putting some finishing touches to the last chapters and once I'm done I might be inclined to post sooner than Sunday, because I feel I need to be done with this before I go see Civil War...after which I will be a useless sobbing mess in the darkest corner of my room, so yeah, two chapters a week maybe? We'll see ^^
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely kudos and comments and I hope you'll enjoy this here new chapter <3 I know you're all anxiously waiting for Steve and the big reveal, but some things must happen first :3 Although...there were Steve alerts in the next chapter's forecast ^^

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDqr6B6plMM&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCR7dE22Ippp8wxVYXRk27v&index=4)

 

 ** _xxxTonyStarkxxx_**  

"Wait...where are you going?" James whispers, grabbing me by the armored shoulder.

"I'm blasting in there, where do you think I'm going?"

He closes his eyes with a sigh. "It's a stealth mission, Tony, you can't just blast in there!"

"I'm not exactly good at those, I'm Iron Man! Blasting in is what I do!"

"Not today you're not. You wanna extract info? Then we must get to that agent without spooking him into killing himself...which we won't be able to do if they are alerted by exploding concrete."

"That's not what you said on the last mission," I glare at him, pouting.

"I did...but the Soldier didn't get to stop you in time, hence the failure."

"Hey now, the mission was a success!"

"I got my target...but we wanted that intel, remember?"

"We got the location of this base, didn't we? I'll call _that_ a success."

"Of course you would. We're doing it my way today," he informs me and points at the building’s third floor. "Meet me up there when I give you the sign, not sooner. I'll clear through the first floors and if there's anything left to blast to hell, it'll be all yours. How's that for a plan?"

I startle at the implication of what he just said, not sure whether to believe it. " _You're_ gonna clear the floors? Not the Soldier, but _you_?"

He stiffens for just a moment, before his face hardens with determination. "Yeah, I will. I think...I think I'm ready to do this. Besides...the Soldier is lookin’ tired today, wouldn't wanna bother him," he says resolutely, cracking a grin moments after as a result of whatever the Soldier had to say about the matter.

I nod, letting the helmet shut. "Alrighty, soldier. Go get 'em!"

He takes off, while I reluctantly stay behind, hidden in the thick foliage. I witness him disabling the three guards around the entrance, before he disappears into the building and everything goes quiet.

" _Boss? Miss Potts wants..._ demands _to speak with you_ ," FRIDAY delegates, sounding scared. As well as she should be, ain't nobody can stand their ground against Pepper when she resorts to demanding.

"Patch her through, Fry and keep tabs on James, will ya?"

" _Sure thing, boss_."

" _Tony! Where the seven hells are you_?!”

So much for quiet. "Pep! My dear beloved, what can I do for you?"

She sighs, trying to calm down. " _A bloody_ hi _every now and then would be nice, for a start! I haven't heard a word from you for weeks! Neither have the Avengers and let me just say I refuse to be covering for you anymore! Next time Natasha gives me the death glare, I will tell her everything_!"

"What is there to tell? Anyway, isn't it amazing though? That you are able to bluff around the most formidable Russian spy ever?"

" _Tony_!"

"Sorry...you're right. I'll call Captain Occupied to say hi...if he's not too busy looking for his boyfriend." They didn't even notice I was kidnapped by Hydra, that's how occupied the Avengers are. Why care about little old me, I'm useless anyway, right? If Rogers wants to talk to me, he better show up at the Tower...with coffee...and chocolate chip biscuits. The Soldier does that now and I can't get enough of that. It's my new bribe material, so hell to the no - I'm not calling Captain Tight-ass first.

" _Tony! Can't you be serious for just five minutes_?!"

"How long have you known me? Relax, Pepper. Take a couple days off, go to Malibu...or someplace actually nice this time of the year. Everything is just peachy on my end. And I swear I'll send in the newest StarkPhone prototype just in time for Saturday's board meeting...which I will not be attending, by the way."

" _Oh for g...you remembered the board meeting?"_ She asks in pure unadulterated wonder _. "You remembered a board meeting schedule?! Who the heck are you and where is Tony_?!"

"I beg your pardon, I'm more than capable of remembering something so trivial as that!" I try sounding offended.

" _No...no, Tony, you're not. Never once in my career have you remembered. Where are you anyway_?"

"Um...taking the armor out for a spin? Nothing official, just a little fly round town to clear my head. Had a busy day yesterday, trying to finish the evals for R&D."

" _You...you did what?! Are you feeling alright_?"

"Yup, I'm fine," I chirp and actually tell the truth for once.

" _Oh my god, you're serious. You_ are _actually fine_."

"That's what I'm saying! Why is nobody believing it?"

" _Oh I don't know, maybe because the last time you said that, you were dying_?"

"Good point."

" _So, who is it_?" She asks out of the blue.

"Who is...who?"

" _Your newest love interest of course! Don't play dumb with me, Tony. You're only ever so...not yourself...when there's someone you're trying to impress, so who is it? Do I need to come over to make her sign the nondisclosure documents? Give her a shovel talk while I'm at it too_?"

"Pepper, you've got it all wrong, I'm not - "

Except I am. She's got it all _right_. Oh shit...

"Um, I gotta run, Pep...an air plane is heading my way, dangerous skies and all. Good talk! Let's do it again soon, bye!"

" _Oh you are so in love with som_ \- "

I cut her off as fast as I can and let my mind maul over what she said. There's no way. Nope. Nah uh. I'm not...and he most certainly isn't...and then there's Captain Tight Pants...that's ridiculous I can't be...

" _Showtime_ ," James's voice crackles in my ears and I'm glad he can't see how high I've jumped just now. Or hear the unmanly squeal I let out.

"Right, showtime," I repeat absentmindedly and take off in the air, scanning the third floor for James. FRIDAY navigates me inside the room he's currently in, barging through the window dramatically, much to his amusement.

"Meet my buddy Iron Man," he announces just as dramatically to the man he's holding by the throat. Needless to say, the barely breathing man is not impressed. "Now, you're gonna answer all his questions, or I will be forced to let the Soldier out...let me tell ya, pal, you don't wanna meet the Soldier," he snarls to the man's ear and seats him down on a nearby wooden chair. "Already got rid of his way out," he tells me, holding a tooth in between his fingers.

I grimace in disgust, taking the helmet off completely. "Ewww, gross."

He shrugs and moves to the only door leading into the small room. "He's all yours."

Me and agent _What’s-his-name_ have a little chat, while James stands by the exit like the creepy overwatcher he is, glaring at the agent whenever he so much as dares to talk back at me. It doesn’t take long for him to break. The Winter Soldier is infamous within HYDRA, they all know what he is capable of and just being in his presence weakens their resolve…no matter how stubborn or resilient they think they are. Also without the comfort of that quick cyanide way out, I imagine the very thought of a prolonged stay with the Soldier is disheartening.

I’d feel sorry for the agent, knowing what fate awaits him whether he tells me what I want or not…but he’s HYDRA.

Now, I told James there’s no revenge left in me where my parents are concerned. I sure as hell didn’t say anything about the revenge left in me for _him_. What they did to him? HYDRA? Zola, Pierce, Strucker, Madame Hydra and all the rest of them motherfuckers I don’t know about yet, they deserve what they got and what’s coming for them. Every single bullet. Every snapped neck and every blast to the face. And more. So much more.

If we didn’t have a mission to take care of I wouldn’t be asking for names and tattoos. I’d be asking for more HYDRA bases – especially the ones Madame Hydra likes to grace with her esteemed presence – so I could level every fucking one with the ground. Killing every single agent inside in as twisted and inhumane ways I could come up with.

Captain America would be extremely disappointed in me…but for the first time since I was five and Howard told me how he’d wished me to be more like the number one American Superhero, I wouldn’t give a single fuck. As long as HYDRA would get the taste of their own medicine, I think I’d be able to live with myself.

“I told you all I know, I swear!” he blurts out after indeed giving me enough to work with for weeks. One piece of information was particularly helpful. Madame Hydra – true to her intellect – decided to rework the codename and tattoo system after her blown up attempt to retrieve the Asset – and kill me.

Would be the first thing I would do if I knew a top notch assassin was after people in my organization, but naturally…people like me have a hard time parting with their toys. And in a way, me and Madame Bitchface have a lot in common. Except I don’t toy with people…unless it’s in the fun way.

“If they changed the codenames and the tattoos…” James trails off, knowing I’m thinking the same thing.

“It might throw off the mission, yeah. But I don’t think it will.”

He cocks his eyebrows at me, leaning casually against the closed door. “Care to share with the class?”

“Well…we already added up to the mission. And by _we_ I mean _you_.”

“Protect the Handler,” he mumbles, nodding.

“Yup…and if we can add up to the mission, then I’d say we can _alter_ it too. Or at least I might be…you know…since I’m the Handler.”

I could tell him how I’ve studied up on all the heinous methods Zola used to re-program the Winter Soldier and that I know for a fact that the Handler has the authority to alter missions as needed, but I decide against it. We’ve discussed it earlier…that I’ve read the files and that I know what was done to him and the Soldier. I wanted him to know that I know…and that he doesn’t have to be ashamed of that. But revisiting the conversation, revisiting the Soldier’s memories of the events isn’t a good idea in my opinion, so I don’t.

“Makes sense. Only one way to find out I guess,” he glowers and moves to stand next to me. “What’s your codename now?” he asks the agent patiently.

“P-p-plainswalker,” he stutters, watching us nervously.

We both know his codename is supposed to be Iceburner, so this is really it. This is our chance to prove our theory.

“Confirm new mission orders, Soldier. The Iceburner is now the Plainswalker. Proceed with the mission as previously stated with the adjusted codename,” I try and watch James lower his gaze, expression thoughtful. I can only suspect that is him listening to the Soldier.

Then he smirks, that wicked, dangerous smirk I’ve seen the Soldier wear whenever he gets excited for a mission or…excited in general. It almost makes me believe the Soldier took over, but this is in fact still James. And if I return that smirk immediately, I blame it on my inner pride of being able to tell them apart, no matter how alike they are getting.

“Mission adjustment confirmed,” he answers and looks me straight in the eyes, searching for something…permission? No, it’s more than that. It’s like he’s saying: ‘Do you really wanna be here for this? I trust you to be here for this, but at the same time I’m giving you a choice to leave if you want to.’

I straighten, stepping slightly to the side, but not as if to leave, but rather to give James space. “Mister Plainswalker…whoever the hell you are, it’s been a pleasure,” I talk to the agent, my eyes never leaving James’s. “You can complain to Pierce in hell,” I add when the agent recovers from the initial shock and is about to say something.

James gives me a nod, his face falling serious as he takes out his handgun and shoots the Plainswalker straight in the heart. The agent dies instantly…his reward for his cooperation. He’d deserve worse.

James’s posture changes, the aimed gun coming down slowly to rest along his hips. Now _that_ is not James anymore.

“Hey, Soldier,” I smile at the man, putting my helmet back in its place. “It worked, then?”

“Yes.”

“Awesome! Let’s go home, I’ve got amazing movie night plans!” I pat his metal shoulder playfully and shut the faceplate. “Fry, we’re coming home, honey.”

“If it’s another Disney movie, I will break the TV,” the Soldier growls and grabs tight onto the armor.

 I chuckle, adjusting my own grip around the Soldier’s waist. “You’re lucky I’m not an asshole then, otherwise I’d make a joke about how I’m sweeping you off your feet right now, like the proper princess that you are.”

The Soldier can only growl some more before I take off, heading straight back to the Tower.

 

**_xxxJamesBarnesxxx_ **

 

“ _You’re distracted_ ,” the Soldier muses after I miss yet another shot, just an inch shy of the bull’s eye of the target.

“Ya think?!” I snap back at him and all but throw the long rifle back into its box. I resist the urge to kick it close and sit on the bench next to it with a huff instead.

“ _Why_?” he asks simply, as patient as ever but continues kinda…hesitantly. “ _Is it the HYDRA agent? Is his death…bothering you_?”

 I roll my eyes, almost laughing at the Soldier’s logic. It makes sense to draw that conclusion and at the same time it doesn’t. “No, Soldier…no. I might have not enjoyed killing him as much as you would have…but I’ve still enjoyed it enough. You won’t find me losing sleep over killing HYDRA.”

“ _I don’t understand then_ ,” he utters thoughtfully, this phrase becoming more and more common in our conversations.

It surprised me at first…until I realized how foolish of me that was. The Soldier is… _was_ just a program, created to receive and carry out orders. There is so much he doesn’t understand it’s not even funny. And Tony introducing him to Google most definitely didn’t help, because the answers he finds usually bring even more questions and in the end, he seeks my own opinions and explanations instead. Much to FRIDAY’s dismay as she always offers to explain further whenever the Soldier seems lost on something. But true to the Soldier’s weariness of the new Voice, he never lets her.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say FRIDAY likes the Soldier. Just like JARVIS used to…just like the bots do. Everything Tony’s brilliant mind creates seems to like the Soldier. Like… _both_ of us?

Here I go imagining things again. Great. I must be going insane after all.

“ _You don’t lose sleep on killing HYDRA, but you_ do _lose sleep on killing Tony_?” the Soldier explains. “ _I don’t understand_.”

“Wait…what?!”

“ _You didn’t kill Tony. But your nightmares are about nothing else since we escaped from Madame Hydra_.”

 That…I didn’t expect. “You know…you know what my dreams are about?”

“ _Nightmares_ ,” he corrects me like the aspiring smart-ass he is, “ _and yes. I know_.”

 _Huh_. The boundaries between the two of us are a big unknown. I know that to some extent we can tell what the other is thinking…and feeling. But this is definitely new.

Time to teach this punk how to finally think for himself. “Well then, why do _you_ think I dream about that? About…killing Tony?”

The Soldier falls silent so I take the moment to close the weapon crate and leave the shooting range, knowing I won’t be able to practice today anyway. Maybe a run would be good…to clear my head. Too bad I can’t just leave the Tower and go for a run in the park like that. I guess that freedom will have to wait until I’m no longer the most wanted assassin on the loose. Running around the Tower like a madman isn’t an option either. I’m sure FRIDAY would warn me if someone other than Tony was anywhere near me, but I just can’t risk running into someone.

A simple walk will have to do then.

“ _The reason is what’s confusing me_ ,” the Soldier speaks out, not even bothering to hide his curiosity. “ _You dream of it, because you are so worried about it being true…even though you know it isn’t. We didn’t kill Tony_.”

“No…we didn’t. But what if…what if we did, Soldier, what if we _did_!” I shout, kicking the wall. “What if you haven’t altered the mission…what if the alteration wouldn’t have survived the wipe, what if…what if one day we would have woken up and…and…don’t you _understand_?!” Of course he doesn’t understand, what _does_ he even understand, god dammit! “ _You_ tell me what you would do! If you woke up with his blood on your hands, knowing _you_ did it! That _you_ pushed the trigger and _killed_ him!”

“ _But I didn’t! I wouldn’t! It didn’t happen and it never will_!” the Soldier roars, his rage fueling my own. “ _This is why I don’t understand! You fear something that didn’t happen! Something I_ won’t let _happen! I won’t! Because…because…_ ,” he trails off into a whine, guttural and pained.

I lean against the busted wall, breathing heavily.

“ _Is everything alright, James_?” FRIDAY inquires, sounding worried. Any other time I would have stopped and wondered _how_ can she sound worried…how can a _program_ understand what that means…but not now. Not when the Soldier is right there, shocked by his own realization. Shocked by his own emotions. “ _Should I call someone? Mister Stark, or…_?”

 “No, Fry, we’re good here just…having a moment,” I tell her before she alarms the last man we want to include into this conversation right now.

“ _I see. Let me know if you need anything_.”

“I will…thank you, Fry.”

“ _Anytime_.”

I don’t know how to approach this with the Soldier. It’s not like there is a manual out there that teaches you how to deal with a very much sentient alternate ego living in your head that just started to acknowledge _feelings_.

“Why won’t you let it happen, Soldier?” I ask, as uncertainly as I feel.

He calms down, once again oozing his usual stone cold composure. “ _For the same reason you won’t_.”

Th…that punk! He just pulled a reverse one on me, didn’t he?!

“ _Because I…because_ we _…care…about him_ ,” he adds, sensing my disgruntlement. “ _Because if he dies…we don’t just lose a Handler. We lose someone even more important than that._ ”

I breathe out, not sure why I was holding my breath in the first place and let our body slide against the wall. “Yes. Definitely more important than a Handler.”

“ _More important than just a friend, too. I…googled something…before. And I think I understand now_.”

Ah shit. Do I even wanna know what it was he googled? Probably not.

“ _Love_!” the Soldier chokes. “ _Igoogledthemeaningoflove_!”

I slowly raise my eyebrows waaaaaay up to the ceiling before letting out a startled chuckle. “You…you _googled_ …the meaning of _love_. You…what the actual fuck?!”

“ _It’s…something FRIDAY suggested I should do_.”

“Oh! _FRIDAY_ , huh? Not the Voice point two? Or the Annoying Ghost of the Walls or whatever it is you called her once, but _FRIDAY_? Interesting. When did the two of you resort into conspiring with each other all buddy-buddy style, hm?”

“ _Annoying Ghost of the Walls? Well I do beg your pardon_!” FRIDAY interrupts again, this time very much offended. And very much rightly so.

The Soldier growls…at _me_ and scoffs. “ _We talked after returning from the last mission_.”

“And somehow ended up googling the meaning of love.”

“ _We talked about Tony_.”

“Oh, well then that explains it.”

“ _Yes. Yes it does_ ,” he deadpans and enjoys the startled sputter of nonsense that comes out of my mouth.

Because _holy shit_ , it _does_ explain…everything. I’m just…surprised it’s the Soldier who decided to act first. By asking _FRIDAY_!

Well color me bright pink, the Soldier is all grown up now, too.

“ _The question is, what is it_ you _are planning on doing_?” he asks, when he deems I’ve recovered.

“That…depends. What did your Google escapade tell you?” I ask hopefully but all I get in response are…emotions. Memories. Of Tony. _For_ Tony. And as always, the Soldier doesn’t need words to convey what he feels, even in a situation like this. “Well that…that’s uh…yeah. What do _we_ do about this?”

“ _It sounds like a mission_.”

“Wha – of course it sounds like a mission…everything sounds like a mission to you,” I laugh, shaking my head at the Soldier’s blatant return to the roots. He evolved, alright. But not enough to forget his default nature. “Okay, alright. Fine. Mission it is.” I smirk and the Soldier already knows he’s in trouble now. “FRIDAY? We could use your assistance after all.”

“ _Yes, you most definitely could. What do I do_?”

“We’ve got a new mission. It’s called…Operation _How to woo your Handler_. And speaking of Handlers…we need a Handler.”

“ _That you do, yes. I humbly accept as when it comes to the Boss, you will need more help than you realize_.”

I smile awkwardly at the ceiling. She’s just…unbelievable. Her and the Soldier both. Infuriatingly so. “Well then, Miss Handler. Hit us.”

“ _Confirm new mission. Operation How to woo your Handler. Top priority mission. Objective: Woo the Handler, Tony Stark. Deadline: ASAP. Handler: The most amazing AI that has ever been created_.”

I laugh even harder at that. She sure is something.

The Soldier rolls his imaginary eyes…or at least that’s what it feels like he is doing right now and we reply in unison: “Mission confirmed.”

 


	11. Better off with each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets an unexpected visit while dealing with unexpected food. The whole day proceeds to be full of the unexpected, but to be completely honest with himself, Tony doesn't care one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, look at this...a new chapter! \o/ And it's not even Sunday, tsk tsk...I'm in the mood to spoil you all, because you sure as hell deserve it for how amazing you are! ^^ 
> 
> I am proud to announce that the rest of the fic is ready to be published, so by the end of the next week you can expect the last chapter to be posted \o/ ...I also have a confession to make...a number of confessions, in fact, gruesome and awful, like if I went to a priest he'd call the Winchesters to come deal with me, that's how demonic those confessions are...and staying true to my evil nature, I won't tell you until it's relevant to the chapter, mwuhahahahah...god I'm so dead :'D
> 
> Aaaaaanyway, enjoy the new chapter! I have promised fluff and fluff you're gonna get, with a complimentary flicker of angst, because angst is more me \o/ The entire chapter was inspired by that last song on the soundtrack, btw! ^^

**_[>>>Chapter soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDODPxNT74gNaqNP9Z61voU&nohtml5=False) _ **

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

 

“Okay, that’s it! FRIDAY?! What the hell is going on?!” I bark at the AI, while pointing an accusing finger at the kitchen table.

“ _What do you mean, boss_?” she asks innocently, which only escalates my paranoia right now.

“ _This_ , Fry. What is _this_?!”

“ _Unless my visual systems are failing me, I would say this is a mug of hot chocolate and marshmallows accompanied by a platter of dark chocolate chip cookies. But I might be wrong of course, what is it_ you’re _seeing, boss_?”

“Don’t be cheeky with me, FRIDAY, you know very well what I mean! Remember two days ago? When I got midnight munchies, but was all too focused on the repulsor updates so I complained to you how I’d kill for some hot pepper Doritos or a big bowl of pistachio ice-cream?”

“ _I recall that, yes_.”

“And then ten minutes later DUM-E wheeled over with a big bowl of ice-cream _and_ a bag of Doritos? Now I know I’m a genius and DUM-E is a state of the art bot, but his food procuring ability is limited to burnt toasts and questionable content sandwiches.”

“ _Your point, boss_?”

“Oh I’m not done yet, you see I wrote that one off as a mere lucky coincidence, but then the next day I was craving some good ol’ Hungarian langos, like the ones Clint used to make for movie nights? Guess what magically appeared in my kitchen in an hour. And last night I told you to order me some pizza and whoa! I’ve never waited over an hour for a pizza – not that I’m complaining because it tasted like someone delivered it from some Italian grandmother’s oven straight onto my plate – but how, Fry, _how_! So this morning I might have purposefully told you that I’d love the sugar bomb breakfast and…your visual systems still seeing this? Because that looks like the biggest of sugary bombs if I’ve ever seen and eaten one.”

“ _It does look like one, boss. If you don’t want to eat it, I could always call the Soldier. He has developed quite the sweet tooth, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking care of it for you_.”

I quickly grab onto the mug and the plate protectively, noticing how hot they still are…definitely freshly made. “The Soldier, huh? Yeah, sure, send him down here, I can’t eat all this alone.”

“ _He’s pre-occupied with something, b –_ “

“Morning.”

I jump, almost spilling the glorious beverage all over myself. Not the soldier I was expecting. "The fuck?! Rogers! How the hell did you get in here?" I sputter like a boy caught stealing apples from someone's garden.

There he is - the pillar of morality and the face of freedom looking at me with his eyebrows raised. "Um...the door?"

"Right...of course. What happened to announcements, Fry?"

" _Nothing. I was too busy dealing with your breakfast crisis_."

I glare at the ceiling for a while, then redirect the glare at the frozen soldier at the door. Hah... _frozen_. "Whaddap _Capsicle_ , I'm kinda busy here," I say dismissively, holding up the mighty sweet breakfast in my hands.

"Yes...I can see you are. Is that hot chocolate?" He frowns and makes a move towards the mug.

I immediately jerk away from him, squinting suspiciously at his outstretched hand. "It is and it's all mine! What do you want, Rogers?" I don't care that he flinches at the frosty tone I use...kudos to him showing up, but he's two weeks too late.

"Sorry, I'm...I didn't mean to be...nosy. Just remembered something," he smiles fondly and I almost wanna mutter ‘ _you don't say_ ’ because how obvious can this guy be, seriously. "Chocolate was rare back in the days...but Bu - "

"Yeah, yeah, cool story, Cap. Did you just stop by to say hi, because if that's the case we can move onto goodbyes and get it over with. I really am busy."

"No...well, yeah. I've got a free day so I thought I'd stop by to...you know, catch up." I give him my best _'I don't believe a word you say'_ look while sitting down on the bar stool, putting the mug and plate on the counter. "I'm serious, Tony. You've been out of touch for a while, everyone is worried about you."

Ah, great. "So you drew the short straw, huh. Well, you can tell everyone that I'm just fine and if they are so worried, they can come and see for themselves instead of sending in emissaries. Besides, I told you I need space."

"It's been months, Tony! And no, I didn't draw anything I just...really wanted to see you, sit down and talk for a while or I dunno...go have breakfast together."

I'm so not in the mood to deal with him right now. Because the things that tickle my tongue are far from nice. But all of them inevitably lead to James and until _he_ decides to reunite with his best pal here, I can't talk about it with Steve. It's hard to be mad at someone...when you _can't_ be mad at them.

"Well then, talk away, Capsicle. Here, have a cookie," I offer, all but shoving the plate into the man's chest. He hesitantly takes one and even more hesitantly sits down by the table, facing me.

"So...what have you been up to all this time?" He starts and takes a bite of the cookie, immediately widening his eyes. "Oh wow...these are amazing! Are those homemade?"

"Yeah, sure, DUM-E made them," I utter sarcastically. "Of course they're not homemade, Rogers. You think I bake in my spare time?"

"They're still warm though," he says, brows furrowed in suspicion.

"I microwaved them," I lie and munch down on one cookie as well to spare me further pathetic excuses. Holy crap these _are_ good!

An awkward silence settles in the kitchen, the only sounds being the crunches of those heavenly cookies. I've got no doubt about it now - this is the Soldier's handy work. He took his cooking mission seriously - not that I'm complaining - but it's not just the food. And it's not just the Soldier either.

James always comes down to the workshop between missions to chat idly, tinker with some random spare car engine or even just nap on the sofa even though he's got a perfectly comfortable king sized bed in the room I gave him. Then, since the last target was in Trento, Italy, he decided to bring five pounds worth of top notch Italian ice-cream back from the mission so we could lazily eat it on the roof while stargazing.

And then the both of them volunteered to help me repair the blasted workshop. HYDRA did a number on it with those explosives so there was a lot of heavy lifting to do. Which James took as a perfect opportunity to go topless and show-off while the Soldier decided to get all tactile and lift me to high places, even though I could easily boost myself with the armor.

And then there were the little things like James wiping off smears of motor oil off my face out of nowhere, the Soldier appearing from the shadows with a fresh cup of coffee the second I take the last sip...them letting me tinker with their arm whenever I want to...even if most of the time it's just an excuse for me to be closer to them, enjoying their company...and I'm pretty sure they know. And still, they let me. Encourage me even.

I mean... _what the fuck_? Like...I know I've been out of the game for a while, but I think I can still recognize flirting when I see one. It's not even that it's more like... _wooing_.

I blame the Disney marathon we've done two weeks ago. Or so I tell myself, because this is ridiculous. James and the Soldier aren't...can't be flirting with me, let alone be wooing me. That's just...too good to be true. The worst part is that it catches me off guard every time so instead of flirting back, which is my default setting after all, I freeze. Completely, wide-eyed, mouth agape and all that.

And those bastards just smirk. Smirk like they know exactly what they're doing. And the worst part is that I suspect FRIDAY, the newborn traitorous teenager, is in on it. She and the entire metal gang are up to something.

As if on cue, DUM-E rolls into the kitchen - even though his protocols forbid him from going anywhere other than the workshop - carrying something wrapped up in a piece of cloth. If that doesn't raise red flags up in my head the fact he completely ignores Steve does. He adores Steve! I was sure at one point he liked him more than me...which made me irrationally jealous.

So when Steve greets him with a joyful: "Hey DUM-E!" and the bot just wheels past him shoving the package he's carrying onto my lap, I'm kinda speechless.

"What is it you little metal menace?" I manage when I finally recover enough to pick up the strange offering, unfolding it. DUM-E just beeps in urgency, still completely zoning Steve out.

What I find inside might as well have stopped my heart if I had one. The way my chest hammers in frantic beats however indicates that the organ is still very much in there. It's just sill broken in pieces.

"What's _that_?!" Steve peaks curiously at the complex piece of technology, glowing orange.

JARVIS's server core. Still functional, almost looking like it's working. But it's like a house someone left and forgot to turn off the lights.

I recall ordering the bots to dismantle and get rid of what's left of the central server when I started working on Friday. That obviously didn't happen.

"Tony?" Steve asks, eyes hardened with concern. "You okay? Is everything alright?"

No, Captain Jerkface, nothing is alright! I wanna bark that back at him, but I settle for a burning glare instead. He somehow shrinks in his seat - for a man his size, that's quite a feat - underneath my hostile attention and I pray to every God I don't even believe in that he finally got the message and will shut up and leave me alone.

DUM-E nudges my arm, beeping the same way he did before. I pick the core up, understanding there's more to the package and find a note there, scribbled in hasty but neat writing.

_Workshop. Now. Kick Rogers out of here. Or I will. -TS_

The Soldier...of course. James wouldn't call Steve by his surname. I wonder if the Soldier would follow up on his threat...kinda tempted to send a note of my own telling him to get up here and kick him out then, but as much as the image delights me, it also scares the shit out of me. Chances are he'd go all _Asset mode_ on the Captain and I would really prefer their reunion to not start with a fight I'd be forced to break up. Two super soldiers fighting? Yeah, I'd rather not get in between that. Especially since I might be getting a bit biased.

"Ton - "

"Gotta go. Before the bots blow up the workshop. Good talk, Rogers, let's _not_ do it again. Take a cookie on your way out," I dismiss him, all but throwing the plate at him.

Before he can so much as process what just happened I've got my hot chocolate in one hand, JARVIS's remains in the other and with DUM-E close behind we are in the elevator on the way down.

"Make sure Captain Icehole leaves as he was told, Fry. If he so much as thinks about following me down you better fire him sky high out of here!"

" _I can make that happen. Since the_ Invisible Treatment _protocols are still in effect I wouldn't let the Captain anywhere near the soldiers_."

Thank fuck for that. Kinda wish I had included myself into those protocols and avoided this awkward encounter altogether.

DUM-E springs into the workshop as soon as the elevator door slides open and a strong feeling of deja-vu overcomes me. There's YOU and Butterfingers, huddled around one of the workstations where the Soldier is currently crafting something out of paper and tinfoil, his every move carefully coordinated by Butterfingers. _Butterfingers_. The Soldier is letting _Butterfingers_ guide him through creating something.

I was kidding about the workshop getting blown up...now it looks like a definite possibility.

Once DUM-E reaches the absolutely focused Soldier, the bot joins in the group project - whatever it is - and the Soldier acknowledges him with an approving nod. Not even a growl...or a stare...I _knew_ it. They are so up to something. All of them.

"Good morning, Tony," he greets me without looking up, way too immersed in his work. "Is he gone?"

The question manages to drag me out of my reverie. Right, Steve. Almost forgot about that. Wow, I'm...so screwed, aren’t I? One look at these guys and all my problems fly away…someone call Disney, we’ve got the new hit of the season all scripted for them. "Yeah, he's gone."

" _He is on his way out_ ," Friday corrects me.

"Good," the Soldier grunts. "Are you certain these are the correct dimensions?" He glances at Butterfingers, who beeps positively. "Very well then," he nods as if Butterfingers's input was all but sacred.

I execute a quick double-take and suddenly wish I'd wake up from this strange dream. Or at least down a bottle of vodka. I guess the chocolate will have to do so I slurp it up, freezing as soon as the taste catches up with my brain.

"You...you _spiked_ the hot chocolate?! With bourbon?!"

The Soldier pauses and gives me a look, eyes sparkling mischievously. "James's idea."

Oh my god...I'd kiss the man right here right this very moment. But I need answers now that I've sneaked a confession out of him. First thing's first though.

"What's all this?" I point at the contraption he's working on, walking closer.

"My new mission."

"No kidding. What _is_ it?"

"We are making a memorial for the Voice," he answers bluntly and continues to cut different pieces of various materials he's got on the table.

"The...what now?" I blurt out but the Soldier only shrugs in reply. "FRIDAY?" I ask almost sounding desperate.

" _The bots and the soldiers want to hold a funeral for JARVIS. I think they are now making something to remember him by. Like a tombstone. I don't know what it is, I'm just the research Handler, YOU is the Handler of engineering_."

"The static stick is the design Handler," the Soldier adds. "And Dummy is the decoration Handler."

" _James should be coordination Handler, but the Soldier has complained he's just slacking and laughing in the background_."

"He is," the Soldier growls, distracted for a second he makes an unwanted cut in the paper, looking at it stunned.

Which is all I can do as well. Suddenly the server core that arrived with the message makes so much more sense.

" _You've been promoted to the operation's supreme Handler, boss. You also have the privilege to incorporate the core into the..._ something something _they're making_ ," Friday explains further.

"The _something something_?" I grimace at the ceiling. "I need to update your vision sensors again...or vocabulary."

"Good luck with that, boss."

I ignore the cheeky AI in favor of observing the Soldier work, expression dead serious. He looks like a child that's working with scissors for the first time, all that's missing is his tongue sticking out in concentration.

My gaze slips down to the empty shell that once was JARVIS...or at least a core part of him. I chuckle involuntarily at my own poop pun and find myself continuing to smile despite the great sadness now associated with the item. I can't quite describe the feeling that settles inside my chest just then, watching the metal gang - which includes the soldiers now - and the Voice 2 Voice Harder working together on...preserving J's memory.

James, my greatest creations and HYDRA's greatest creation - allied with a single purpose. To mourn and remember their fallen comrade.

I've never been more proud in my entire life. And touched.

Even though Vision _is_ part JARVIS, it's not the same and it never will be. Vision is his own person and he knows it. That's why I keep my distance from the man because I know I'd end up looking for snippets of JARVIS in him and that's just not fair to him. Wouldn't wanna be just as stubborn and oblivious as Steve and not recognize that what I'm looking for is no longer in there.

It hurts...but there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing but remember all the good times with J, keep his memory alive.

Shit, I'm turning into a sap. Oh well...I'm already a lovesick idiot, so might as well.

"Alright, let's do this!" I nod resolutely, pulling a chair up to the table and inspecting the chaos of a project. "Someone tell me what the hell is this meant to be so I can go all supreme Handler on it."

The Soldier gives me an excited smile and starts describing the perpetum mobile.

 

**###**

 

Couple hours later the contraption is all ready and placed in its new, elevated spot by my workbench. The _something something_ eventually turned into a colorfully decorated headstone...made of paper, tinfoil and glitter. The core sits proudly in the middle of the rectangle shaped creation, illuminating it with its eerie orange glow. We couldn't make our minds up about the epitaph, but in the end DUM-E brought the _Jarvis is my copilot_ sticker and placed it under the core, making the decision for us.

Never thought I'd see the day when DUM-E is the grown-up in the group.

One long memorial speech, a box of tissues and a ton of beepy wailing from the bots later the Soldier made a fresh batch of the spiked chocolate and casually pulled out his StarkPhone and ordered Thai food. Just when I thought I've seen it all.

After lunch we left the bots have a party in the workshop and moved our own party to the roof, where we both promptly dozed off on the sunbeds.

So when I woke from the most relaxing nap I've had in a long time I couldn't help but smile in content.

"Looks good on ya," James says quietly from somewhere on my right and when I take a peak there, he's sporting a smile of his own, also still laying down with hands behind his head. "The smile," he clarifies, his sparkling eyes flicking sideways to my lips.

Here we go again. Tony Stark freezes in the face of flirting. I can almost see the headlines.

This time though, instead of walking away with a smug grin he closes his eyes with a sigh and speaks low, hesitantly. "Are you uncomfortably freaking out there or does our endless charm render you speechless?"

"Kinda," I blurt out before I realize I haven't really answered the question. "Kinda renders me speechless I mean...a little bit of freaking out is in there too. Not uncomfortably though, just freaking out because...well...uh..."

He peaks at me from underneath his eyelashes, face falling serious. "Because?" He prompts, uncertainty tainting his usually self-confident voice. Because that’s what James is like, what he used to be like before if Peggy’s stories are anything to go by. Confident…especially when flirting.

That's it. He's played his cards and now it's my turn to show my hand. For over a week he's been throwing the ball at me and it just kept bouncing off of my face. But it didn't stop him. He kept going no matter how uncertain it made him. How vulnerable it must have made him feel.   
Nat is right, I _am_ an idiot! And an asshole. More of an asshole than an idiot, which is why I immediately switch into the denial mode.

"Because it's...ridiculous for you to...because it's _me_. And you don't wanna go there. Like, seriously, I could give you several contacts for references to confirm." He doesn't react, keeping his face unreadable so I go on. "You've got shit ton on your plate as it is, HYDRA and Steve and god I don’t even know what else. This...this just...you'd be - "

"Better off without me," he cuts in, sounding almost as devastated as I feel. " _You_ , Tony. _You_ would be better off without _me_. It's what I kept thinking since...well since I regained enough memories to know who I am an - let me finish," he stops me resolutely when I breath in, ready to argue. "Turns out we are _both_ stubborn self deprecating assholes. We're better off with each other," his smile returns at that and that's at least a thousandth time today I don't know what to say. "I'd probably be still dancing around this if it wasn't for the Soldier."

"The...the _Soldier_?" I sputter. Now _that_ is news to me.

"Yeah. He and FRIDAY conspired against ya. And me, I guess."

"The...wh...the **_Soldier_**?!" I repeat, my brain still not able to catch up with that.

"Well, it wasn't just me doing the flirting now was it?" He points out and holy shit...he's right. "I gave him some pointers and FRIDAY thought him how to do proper research on Google. He's overdoing it sometimes but I've got high hopes for him."

" _I've got nothing to do with this_ ," FRIDAY chimes in inconspicuously.

"Liar, liar, your server's on fire," James sings at the AI and all things considered it should be such an inappropriate thing to say but I just burst out laughing.

" _I resent that_ ," she continues to play coy.

"S're. Anyway...that's how it is. And you're right. I've got shit to deal with. The mission being the priority. Stevie...I think I'm ready to face him. If he didn't leave I would have come up and kicked him out though. He needs some tough love before he gets his own shit together. So...I'll wait for the mission to be done with. When all my memory's are back and the hunt for Hydra is over I will confront the punk," he informs me decisively, making sure to maintain eye contact with me the whole time, just for me to see how much he means every single word. "And when I'm done with Steve, I'm planning on taking _you_ out to dinner. And the Soldier is all excited for this new Harry Potter kinda movie? That's _his_ plan. So the question is...what's _your_ plan?" He asks hopefully and I can't even...even.

My brains floods me with a thousand reasons why I should let him...let them both down gently...or even harshly if that's what it takes to make them move forward, away from the thought of me. But I discard all of them. 

As much as the thought of falling scares me - for all the right reasons - I know I'm falling for them. And I would rather fall out of a thousand wormholes into the dead of space then fall in love again, because that's the scariest of things in the world. Because the landing is usually painful and ends in a disaster.

But maybe...if there's someone you can trust to be there to catch you...then maybe...just maybe...

"Plan? Pffft. You know I only have one plan - attack," I say flippantly, but hold his searching gaze, letting him see how serious I am underneath the snark. "That means _I_ am going to be taking _you_ out to dinner and _I_ am going to be inviting the Soldier to the movies. After the mission is all done."

I thought I've seen James smile before...but never like this. Never like I've just conquered the stars and brought them down the Earth for him or something.

"It's a date," he nods and suddenly chuckles. "Just expect the Soldier to fight over the inviting business, he refuses to be the Disney princess."

"Hah! Too bad, I've got the armor, so that makes _me_ the Knight!"

We laugh, talk about this and that, mostly about dating - he tells me how his first one went, all awkward and funny, I tell him how mine was just disgusting as soon as we drank enough to vomit mid kiss, I tell him how Steve and Peggy never got to have their dance and their date and how I don't want to miss ours.

And when he says he'll remind me if I forget, I know I'm falling fast.


	12. Come a long way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission is nearing its end and with only a few more HYDRA heads to slay, everyone is making their move. Some to hasten the mission's end, some to hinder it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Sunday is still the day and so here we go with chapter twelve! I can't believe we've got so far already! O.o You guys and gals are absolutely amazing with all the kudos, comments and bookmarks you're sending my way, I can't stop but wanting to impress you! ...much like the Soldier :D   
> So you can expect the next chapter to come out on Wednesday and if this chapter won't be a hint enough, the next chapter is it. The next chapter is IT! The big, bold IT. Are you ready? ...because I am most definitely not :'D   
> And finally...the final chapter of One Hydra head at a time will close the circle on Friday...because...FRIDAY :D By which time I might already be dead, but hell, I'll post it anyway :D
> 
> Without further ado, grab them complimentary biscuits and enjoy the read! ^^

_**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxT8m46K1w8&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAAkaxBTHfBZmCn4BvDSqDX&index=3) ** _

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

I adjust my grip around the HYDRA agent’s neck and tower over him as much as an average man in a metal armor can tower over a man twice his size. I glance over his shoulder where the Soldier cornered the rest of the agents and is about to introduce them to their fate.

"If I have to repeat myself again you can forget about getting a bullet to the head, pal," I turn my attention back to the agent at hand. "So spill it."

"Or you're gonna do what? Threaten me? Lock me up? Kill me? Pffft...go ahead."

"You think that's the only thing I can do?"

"You're Iron Man...Avengers...what else would _you_ be able to do?"

I bring up my best intimidating twisted grin - one I picked up from the Soldier - and whisper into the man's ear: " _Red Rooster_."

It's all I need to say for the agent to tense, eyes flashing wide at me. "You wouldn't."

"Oh I _would_. I know that file by heart. We can start right here right now. All those dirty torturous details...are you sure you want to bet on the fact I'm with the Avengers and won't resort to torture? Because here…here I'm with the Winter Soldier. What does that tell you about me?"

The agent seems to sober up, realizing I'm not kidding in the least so he gives in. "There's a warehouse south of Westbrook."

"In Maine? We are raiding bases across the States and instead of flying to the Moon someone's hiding in _Maine_?! How stupid are you people? Where is it exactly?"

He gives me the coordinates and I have FRIDAY working on it immediately.

"Cool. It better be a sound info or you pray I won't find you in hell one day. Wrap it up, Soldier! We've got the next party address. You won't believe where it is," I yell at the Soldier, now out of sight along with the now most likely dead agents.

"Can't wait. Give me five minutes," he calls back from the room at the end of the hallway.

"You got it, my lady," I tease, while dropping the now useless agent to the ground, where he catches his breath.

"I will murder you," the Soldier threatens, peeking out from the door with a dead serious glare.

"Whatever you say, sweet cheeks. And by cheeks I mean ass. Because look at that ass," I tell the mighty confused agent, pointing at the Soldier’s behind. "No wonder there must be two asses in assassin if that's what one looks like."

The Soldier rolls his eyes, finally letting himself be dragged to my childish level. "There's an ass in asshole too, good to know how _that_ one looks like," he retorts, pointedly looking at my hips.

"How rude!" I gasp, but the Soldier disappears back into the room with a shit eating grin. "Guess I walked into that one," I shrug and point my repulsor at the agent’s head.

"You have no idea, do you," he says, no doubt some last ditch effort to avoid death. But then he laughs. Not the desperate _I'm gonna die_ laugh or just a _that's hilarious_ laugh. But the _devilish evil overlord_ laugh. So I decide to be game.

"No idea about _what_?"

He tells me, each word a stab to my chest deeper than the shrapnels of my missile were ever able to go.

"You're lying."

"Am I though?" he grins, leaning closer to me. “Hail HYDRA!” he whispers and makes a grab for my hand so I shoot instinctively. If I wasn't too preoccupied by the raging onset of panic I’d realize that's what he wanted me to do. Kill him so I can't ask for anything else.

He was lying. He _must_ have been lying. It can't be true.

My phone rings, snapping me out of the frozen stupor. Instead of picking it up I put the helmet back on and ask Fry to patch me through.

" _Stark_!" Fury's baritone immediately floods the speakers. " _You're gon get your ass in here tomorrow. We've got a situation_."

"When do you _not_ have a situation, _Nikolajev_? What's it about?" I try sounding unfazed and kinda succeed. Never thought I’d one day appreciate how quickly I can put my mask on for the press…or for Fury.

" _Can't discuss that on the phone, Stark, just be at the HQ by midday tomorrow_ ," he adds and hangs up. At least he's still the same. Unlike a number of superheroes that flooded my voicemail and messages recently. I imagine Steve told them about how his visit went and they're all trying to salvage their conscience by trying to talk, even visit. Well, fuck them.

At least Fury is still the same dick. Wouldn't want it any other way - it's our thing.

But none of this matters if this dead pile of shitbags was telling the truth. Nothing matters...oh my g -

"Ready?" The Soldier asks, walking up to me.

I fake the fakest of grins and nod. "Sure thing, Soldier. Got a thing at the Avengers HQ tomorrow so the retro gaming afternoon is renamed to a retro gaming night. I’m sure you'll find a way to entertain yourselves while I'm indulging Fury."

"Sure thing, Shellhead," he mimics me, smiling.

I return it, hoping he won’t notice how forced it is. He continues to talk while we are destroying evidence and setting up to leave, but all I can hear is the pieces of my shattered heart breaking again.

 

###

 

"I've got a play date tonight so you better make this quick," I inform the stunned gathering as I enter the briefing room.

"Tony?" Steve is the first to find his words.

Wow. Did Fury pull a sneaky Ivan on these guys? He didn't tell them I was coming, did he. Looking at the utterly surprised Natasha I know my assumption is correct.

"Capsicle. Fellas," I wink at the rest of the Avengers and go sit down somewhere safe. Next to Clint will do, because apparently I’m a masochist. "I'm not kidding about that play date, so...chop chop," I wave my hands hurriedly, catching the curious glance Vision gives me out the corner of my eye.

"That's what I'm thinking. You all know about the Winter Soldier situation," Fury starts and by the alarmed gasp coming from the Captain, he's about to be argued to death really soon.

"That's what this is about?" I save Fury for the moment. "I don't care about that, so..." I move to stand up, reveling in Steve's quadruply alarmed expression now.

"Sit yo ass down, Stark!" Fury tries patiently...as patiently as he's capable of anyway.

"You don't... _care_? What do you mean you don't - "

"He's travelling the world killing HYDRA agents, Captain. Quite successfully too. Personally, I think there's no Winter Soldier situation at all. He's got everything under control," I shrug, sitting back down wearily.

"Under control?! He's on a murder spree, Tony!"

"Of HYDRA agents! Not puppies, Cap, _HYDRA_! You know? Those sons of bitches that got him into the whole mess in the first place? I think he's got every right to kill every last one of them."

"Be that as it may...he is a loose rocket. We don't know what state of mind he's at, he's not following anyone's orders...who knows if we're not next once he's done with HYDRA," Fury squints, which in his case looks kinda like he's constipated instead of intimidating.

"Well, he _did_ save Rogers instead of killing him during Insight right? I mean...he _nearly_ killed him and then he _saved_ him. He might not be ready for a happy reunion yet, but something in his head must have clicked right if he did that," I argue right back, noticing Steve's flinch at the use of his surname.

"How can you be so sure of that?" the Scarlet Witch or whatever it is she's calling herself says, not even waiting for a reply before digging right into me. "The all-knowing Tony Stark, as always."

"If I was all-knowing, Miss Teenage Wonder, I would have known this meeting would be a waste of time and wouldn't show up."

Fury glares away whatever comeback she had ready on her tongue and flicks the big screen on, showing a picture of a man. "Thaddeus Ross, the current Secretary of State is at the moment being cornered by various governmental members and the public to get the Avengers under control. Apparently, a committee is to be set up, that will review plans and decisions before and after they are carried out by the Avengers.”

I snort. “Oh. Great. Another committee. Like the one that sent a nuke to obliterate New York? Remember that one? I do believe that very committee was also riddled with HYDRA operatives, in the end.”

“You don’t have to remind me, Stark. I don’t think it’s such a great idea myself, but the truth is, the public is…afraid. They have witnessed the Avengers do some pretty major damage – no matter the circumstances,” he adds, stopping Rogers from interrupting him. “They want their sense of safety back and somehow they believe a committee will help. First and foremost though, they want justice. And this is where the Winter Soldier situation becomes a real situation.”

Shit. Here we go.

“They want the Winter Soldier caught and have him answer for his crimes.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Steve shouts. “None of this is Bucky’s fault! He was…he _is forced_ to do this!”

“That is for the preliminary hearing to decide. Once the Winter Soldier is captured, he will attend this hearing and the members of the committee will see if a proper trial is in order,” Fury explains.

“Okay. We can do that,” I nod, earning almost a dozen surprised stares.

"We're not doing this, Tony. We're not letting someone who has no idea about how things go in our line of duty to dictate what we should or shouldn't do!"

"Oh, like you wanna dictate it to the Soldier? You've got no idea how things are going for _him_ ," I shoot a low blow at him, but I really feel like punching him in the face so I blame it on that.

"It's _Bucky_! Don't call him a soldier! And yes, we can do this - "

"Let me guess - together. Because that worked for us so well in the past. Now's really not the time to discuss this. Obviously we've got some opinion splintering in here. So why not take this one thing at a time. The Winter Soldier situation, Fury. Go on," I change the subject impatiently.

"The government wants the man. The public wants a scape goat. He's responsible for too many deaths to be simply overlooked. Now before you start defending the man," he stops Rogers mid-breath, "I don't think he should be taking the blame for something HYDRA forced him into, but a trial needs to be held if only to prove this very fact. This is America after all, Captain. People demand justice."

"Bucky is innocent! There is no justice to be served here!" Steve argues vehemently, glaring at Fury with fierceness I haven't seen on his face yet.

"He still needs to be dealt with," Natasha says matter of factly. "Killing HYDRA is all fine by me, but he needs to be put in check."

" _We_ need to be put in check, Natasha," I glower at the Russian ninja and to my own surprise she nods.

"True."

"Safest hands are still our own, Tony."

"Tell that to Sokovia, Rogers! Washington. And New York. The truth is we are out of our depth here. But...I'm with you on this one. Kinda," I add when Steve jerks in surprise. "We should bring him in, but fuck the government dogs and whatever their agenda is. The best way to do that is to let them have their trial so we can publicly rip it to pieces with hard evidence and be done with it. And then he stays with us. Don't give me that look, Nickster, I can tell you and your SHIELD underdogs would love to get your fingers all over the man and his metal arm, study him and whatnot, but fuck _you_ too. Once it's clear he's not a threat to us or himself, he's his own man...for the first time in half a century so _hands off_."

I realize I might have gone a bit too far with this...bit weird too, for me to defend a guy I supposedly don't know at all. Vision gives me yet _another_ pointed look and yep, no way in hell he doesn't know about my dirty little secret. I raise an eyebrow at him, daring him to say something, but he just sighs and averts his gaze.

"Glad that we can at least agree on one thing, then," Fury stands up, fumbling with the screen again - this time a map shows up. "We're bringing him in. And it just so happens that we know where he is."

"Yeah, right...what?! What do you mean you know? Where _is_ he?" I sputter out over Steve's own urgent questioning. If they know where he is then they know he’s in my fucking Tower having lunch or whatever he decided to do with his afternoon.

"Our informant within a HYDRA cell told us there's a HYDRA site in Westbrook, Maine, containing four persons if interest they suspect the Winter Soldier is targeting next. So we've sent a lurker to keep an eye on that base and guess who showed up about fifteen minutes ago in its immediate vicinity?"

"Is he still there?" Steve asks hastily and is already half-way across the room to the exit. "We can be there in twenty if we fire up the jet now!"

"Hold your horses, Captain. The Winter Soldier is not leaving that site, our forces are already in there, the place is surrounded. He tries to leave, he'll have to fight his way through both HYDRA and our people...of course we'd prefer he wouldn't do the second so you have a green light to go there and try to resolve the encounter peacefully…best case scenario is ending with him on board the jet on his way here, no casualties on our side," Fury orders and Cap doesn't need to be told twice.

"Sam, Natasha?" He looks over at them and with a nod they both join him by the exit. "Won't need any more manpower, hopefully I'll manage to talk him through this. But you guys stand by, just in case."

And with that he's gone. Boarding a jet to fly to Maine. To capture the Soldier. What the hell is he doing in there?!

"I'll be on call," I blurt out, while fleeing the room in the speed of light, ignoring everyone's confused expressions. And Vision’s all too knowing, sympathetic one. As soon as I find an empty room and disable the local security route, I'm speed-dialing FRIDAY as if my life depended on it.

Come on, pick up, pick up, pick u -

"Yes, boss?"

"Where's James?!" I bark at her, praying she'll tell me he's in the Tower.

"I can't really tell you that right now."

"Please just tell me he didn't go to Maine to finish the mission!"

"Why would - "

"SHIELD is already there. HYDRA set the whole thing up! They want them to finish the mission! And now Steve is breaking the jet speed limits to get there too so tell me he hadn’t gone there to continue the mission, Fry, for fuck’s sake!”

There's a moment of silence before she answers and when she does, I stop breathing.

 

 


	13. Keep me in your memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes nothing...as promised, this chapter seals the deal of this story, so you can think of the last one more as an epilogue. And something more, too, which I will tell you later...after you finish reading this chapter and after I'm safe and sound at the other side of the galaxy ^^ Thank you all for the amazing feedback! You get me so hyped up every time! <3
> 
> Enjoy the read and let me know what you think <3 For maximum feels, check out the soundtrack, which contains two songs that inspired the name of the chapter and the plot twist ^^

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZIummTz9mM&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCC4NZ4TaSVJ2_gU_r2jri1) **

 

**_xxxTheSoldierxxx_ **

 

" _This ain't gonna be easy_ ," James analyses the situation after quietly observing the warehouse ahead. " _I don't see a way to sneak in_."

The Soldier must agree. The complex is being patrolled by at least fifty agents, each well-armed and trained. They all know what they're looking for - an intruder. The Winter Soldier. Getting inside is going to be a challenge which is good. The Soldier craves the intricacy; it makes it so much more rewarding in the end. Obstacles are after all the best form of proving one's skill.

He pulls out a small egg-like grenade out of his holster pocket and scans the surroundings, looking for a suitable spot to use it.

" _You wanna_ blast _your way in_?!" James comments suspiciously.

"We need a distraction," the Soldier explains and throws the grenade to his left, directly between the warehouse fence and the tree line. As soon as the agents alert to the noise of the explosion and move to investigate it, the Soldier makes his own move.

He quickly drops a C4 pack into the bush and heads toward the building, getting past the fence and to the parked cars without notice. There are still eight agents between him and the front door. Realistically he could disable four of them without drawing attention which leaves four more to deal with. He waits for a couple seconds before detonating the C4, the much louder and bigger explosion drawing even more agents towards its source, leaving only three at the entrance.

He jumps at the first, burying his quick drawn knife deep in his neck so all that comes out of his mouth is just a pained gargle. The other two only have enough time to look over to them, before the knife is flying through the air at the leftmost one's chest and a silent bullet pierces through the second's skull. They hit the ground in a heap of twitching limbs and stay down.

" _Not bad_ ," James praises him, to which he just shrugs and barges through the door, pistol at the ready.

He expected another dozens of agents inside the large building, but what he finds is far more disturbing.

The warehouse is barren, no boxes, crates or other form of cargo one could usually find in a place like this. For the Soldier it means there's no cover, leaving him very much exposed to anyone inside. The only people inside however are four figures in the middle, sitting back to back, gagged, their hands and legs bound. Other than that, the large space is empty of both objects and people.

The Soldier recognizes all four of them once he focuses on their faces. These are the last four targets.

" _What the fuck_?" James utters, his own suspicion rising rapidly. " _Did Madame Hydra reach the ultimate level of insanity? Why would she leave the four agents here, gift wrapped for us to find like this? Not that I'm complaining or anything because that means...that means we can end the mission right here...today, be finally done with it_."

The Soldier nods. "It is extremely suspicious though."

" _Yep. Be careful_."

Thoroughly scanning the entirety of the shadowy warehouse, the Soldier moves closer, each step making the four agents struggle in panic. Their tattoos are barred on their necks, visible even from few steps back. There's no doubt about it now, these really are their last four targets.

Checking for any nearby threats again, the Soldier raises the gun and prepares to shoot them one by one, but is interrupted by the sudden vibration of the phone, safely deposited in his side pocket. It can only be FRIDAY or Tony, neither of which he'd dare to not answer to, so he fishes for the phone with his free hand and accepts the call, while still aiming at the agents.

"Ye - "

" _It's a trap! You gotta get out of there, now_!"

He frowns at the distress in Tony's voice, giving the enormous room one more sweeping look, but still finding no danger. "What are you talking about, Tony?"

" _You're in Maine, aren't you? Going for one of the targets? It's a HYDRA set-up. They leaked the info about that place on purpose, to us and the Avengers. SHIELD has been watching it for days now, they know you're in there. Rogers and his Winter Soldier hunt team is en route, they'll be there any minute_!"

" _That makes no sense_ ," James pitches in.

"It doesn't matter," the Soldier replies. "They are here, Tony. The last four targets are right here! We are finishing the mission!" He says excitedly but is only met with a litany of curses coming from the other end.

" _No! Nononononono, no! You can't kill them! You can't finish the mission_!" Tony all but screams.

"Why?" The Soldier asks in unison with James, both riddled with confusion now.

" _You don't get it, that's what HYDRA wants! That's why the four of them are all in there, served on a silver platter waiting for you_!"

"You aren't making any sense, Tony. What is going on?" The Soldier asks carefully, already dreading the answer.

" _Fuck! It's...it's the mission, Soldier. The orders file? It had an attachment. The whole operation was never meant to be activated but...Zola wasn't a complete idiot after all. In case it ever did activate, he made sure that once it is over with, the Asset would not fall into enemy hands. The training, all the knowledge about HYDRA...he didn't want that to help HYDRA's enemies. I didn't know about the extra file until last base raid. Madame Hydra must have found it and since she failed to get you back she figured if_ she _can't have you then_ nobody _can! So she set this whole thing up to hasten the process_!"

"What do you mean?" The Soldier frowns, trying to pay no attention to James's anxiousness.

" _Listen, just...ignore them. Find a way out and get back to the Tower_!"

"No. Tell me what the attachment is about," he demands.

" _This is really not the kinda conversation you wanna have over the phone, Soldier! Just...please, come home, I'll tell you everything. James, if you're hearing this make this stubborn asshole listen! Please_!"

The Soldier is taken aback by the vehemence in Tony's voice, but more so by the fear in it. And even more by the desperate pleading that is just so not Tony Stark. He doesn't plead, he suggests, commands even...but never pleads, not like this. Not like the world is going to end if the Soldier doesn't do as he says.

He waits for James to tell him to leave. If he did, the Soldier would likely reconsider, but James seems to be just as hell-bent on getting answers right here and now and makes no request to follow Tony's pleas.

"Tell us what is happening, Tony. Tell us or I am finishing the mission," he demands, releasing the pistol's safety with a click.

" _Soldier, you gotta trust me on this, you don't want to finish the mission! Leave them be and come back, I will explain everything, I prom_ \- "

The Soldier shoots, muffled by the silencer the shot doesn't ring as loud as it usually would, but it is still loud enough to stun Tony into momentary silence. He didn't kill anyone yet, but he decides a warning shot might bring things into perspective for his troublesome Handler.

" _No! Stop! I'll...fine! I'll tell you, just stop shooting! For fuck's sake, Soldier_!" He curses almost incoherently, muffled by a hand running over his face, the Soldier suspects.

"Well?"

He continues to mutter some nonsense, breathing heavily, but eventually finds courage to speak up. And as soon as he does, the Soldier wishes he didn't.

" _If you kill the last target, all of James's memories will come back...but the Winter Soldier programming is going to erase itself_ ," he blurts out breathlessly.

" _Erase itself_?!" James hollers, breaking his tentative silence. " _But that's...that would..._ "

"I will die," the Soldier states simply, earning a gasp from James and a hysterical chuckle from Tony.

" _Yes, but that's not all. I said Zola wanted to make sure no delicate information would stay behind, threatening HYDRA...which means...he...he made it so that the operation will cause an absolute reboot. Everything that happened after the programming was first uploaded? It's going to disappear. You...your memories...and..._ ," he pauses, taking a shaky breath, " _and James's memories too. He'll remember everything they made him forget, his life before HYDRA...but anything after his capture will be...gone_."

Silence settles in the warehouse, only broken by the still struggling agents. For the first time in months, the Soldier doesn't know what to say...or what to do.

Tony sighs, making a choked sound that alone threatened to kill the Soldier already, because he knew...he knew Tony was crying now. " _The deadline is six months. That was the last piece of information on the attachment. That's next week. If the operation fails, it will restart itself. Which means James will be stuck in limbo again and you...you're gonna revert back to the Asset_."

The Soldier flinches at the designation. Unacceptable. He cannot become the Asset again. Without Operation Wings in effect, the Asset would hurt people...the Asset would hurt _Tony_. And Steve and everyone he and James care about. The Asset cannot return. And James cannot fall back into the make-shift prison deep in their mind.

" _And you can't just die, either_!" James urges, knowing what was going through his mind, his presence suddenly oppressive, as if he was trying to take control if only to stop the Soldier from finishing the mission. " _And I can't...shit...I'll forget everything! About you, about Tony...oh my god,_ Tony!"

" _Now...will you just get the fuck out of there, fly back to New York and meet me at the Tower so we can talk about this? So we can figure out what to do_?!" Tony demands more than pleads this time, his voice still shaky.

"You can alter the mission. You're the Handler," the Soldier suggests, knowing Tony already changed the orders before.

" _No, no! I...I can't, alright? These are not just bits of the mission to be altered; this is part of the objective! I...I went through every single file I've got about the programming searching for a loophole...or_ something _that would let me change the objective or the deadline but...there's nothing. I can't do it. Nobody can do it_ ," he whispers, sounding completely defeated.

"So I either die and James goes back to being...Bucky, forgetting all about this, or I will go back to the Asset, James will be put to sleep again and all if this was for nothing," the Soldier sums it up, trying to find a solution. And he finds only one.

" _Just come back, Soldier, we still got a week...we'll figure something out_!" Tony says, more urgently than before. Because he can tell. Because he knows the Soldier.

"You said these are the only options. A week is not going to change that."

" _Don't...don't even think about it, you son of a bitch! You can't do this! You can't do this to me! You can't do this to_ yourself!" He screams at the Soldier, breaking into a sob.

"It is the only option," he states, lifting the pistol back up, this time not aiming into the air. But straight at the closest agent's head.

" _What the hell are you thinking, Soldier_!" James cuts in as well, while Tony keeps on pleading in the background. " _We've got to go back to the Tower. We can think of something! Tony can, he's brilliant, you know that! We have to...we...we have to at least say goodbye...we can't go like this...we can't leave him like this..._ " He trails off, his presence becoming more intimidating than ever, but the Soldier pushes him away, standing strong and in control.

"And what if we lose this opportunity? What if these agents disappear and we won’t find them before the deadline. That is unacceptable. This is the top priority mission. You, James. You are the top priority mission. I don't matter."

" _Like hell you don't! Of course you matter, Soldier_!" Tony wails, unknowingly matching James's opinion. " _You matter to James. And FRIDAY! And the bots and...and me! You matter to_ me _, for fuck's sake! You both do, I can't lose you both! I might as well drop dead if I lose you, so stop saying this shit, you_ matter!"

The Soldier falters for a split of a second. He knows Tony cares for him...but hearing it straight from the engineer almost makes him want to bolt for the Tower and...and spend the next week with the man. Just to hear his voice...hold him in his arms...whisper how much he...how much he _loves_ him and how amazing it feels to _be_ loved. To matter. He would go on that movie date...and kiss the engineer senseless, just as FRIDAY suggested he should do. It almost makes him want to lower the gun and run, just so he could do all that.

Almost.

Because the way things are, there is no way out. For him, there is no Disney princess happy ending. But James, he still has a chance. Yes, he will forget...but love is not something that just disappears with ones memories. He can get his life back and he can fall in love with Tony again, too. The Soldier was always nothing more than an intruder, a visitor at best. It’s time for him to leave.

James wants to protest, but the Soldier silences him with a swirl of memories and feelings...all of them from the past couple of months...happy memories. Happy feelings. For the Soldier felt nothing if not happy. And if he's to die today, he wants to die with those memories vivid on his mind.

"Thank you...Tony. You...you are the single reason for me to ever want to continue… _living_. Thank you...for showing me what it's like to be more than the Asset. What it's like to love and be loved. So remember that...remember me. Because as long as you remember, I will never be gone. Don't forget you have a mission too. You've gotta invite this moron to dinner one day. Looks like he’s going to need to take a rain check on this one, though."

Tony doesn't answer, all the Soldier can hear are muffled sobs on the other side. James is not as speechless, but isn't holding back on the despair either.

" _I'll miss you, Soldier_ ," he says and adds his own memories and feelings into the storm of the Soldier's.

"I will miss...you all," he speaks, low and...scared. He knows it won't hurt. He knows it will be quick. But he's still scared. And most of all, he fears reality won't be as kind to these two idiots, as the Disney fairytales always seem to be. "Be safe," he whispers, to both James and Tony and takes his aim.

As the four shots pierce through the frantic screams of the two people he cares for the most in this world, he knows the mission is done, because the darkness and silence that follows is both welcoming and terrifying. And when the Soldier embraces it, his last thoughts are of them.

The bravest Soldier he's ever met, and the kindest, most brilliant Handler he's ever had.

For the Soldier, they were both worth it, until the end of the line.

_Operation Wings. A Top-priority mission._

_Status: Successful. Complete._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so :'D Before you deploy them bounty hunters to track me down and murder me, the answer to your outmost first question is YES. This is the end of the story...I mean, it's called One Hydra Head at a time...and them heads are all chopped off now with Operation Wings completed. The last chapter will be from Bucky's POV and whaddya know, the reunion is happening...just not how you'd expected it would be...because apparently I have a death wish :D
> 
> BUT
> 
> I don't have a death wish big enough to actually END it like this. I said I wanna fix things, Civil War being the first thing on my list, so the story will continue with a sequel that will pick up right where this will leave us on Friday! ^^ It's been getting a bit too long for my liking and overall this feels like the right place to end this one. You can expect the first chapter of the "Everything will be 'kay, I'll fix it I promise, don't worry...jk, worry a lot" sequel on Sunday <3


	14. Lost and Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes wakes up in the future. And some future it is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *still hiding on another planet*
> 
> So it begins...with an ending ^^ Fashionably :D In all honesty, I can't believe I've actually finished a story...well, when I say finished... :3 If you knew me, you would be calling Natasha in here to interrogate me to see if I'm not an imposter or...a Skrull :D Because I have a veeeeery bad track record of starting stuff and then leaving it forgotten, catching dust on my harddrive. To think I am already a couple chapters ahead, too is...unbelievable. I don't even recognize myself right now...what a journey. What an incredible journey this has been!
> 
> And it is all thanks to you! All the love (and hate xD) you're showing me with all your comments, kudos and bookmarks just...blow me away. EVERY TIME! I'm so fired up! ^^ So as promised, the first chapter of the dreaded sequel comes up this Sunday, bright and early! And all I can say about that is...*whispers, uncomfortably close to your ear all Hail Hydra like* Civil War time...
> 
> Please don't kill me :'D I have a fic to fix and two idiots to make go on a dinner date! :'D
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> Lantia4ever <3

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX8PPaoYwLk&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCBCWD6nsPBLogrv1Wfn7gV) **

 

**_xxxBuckyBarnesxxx_ **

 

I take a sharp breath as I wake up, staring blankly at the high metal ceiling above me. The events of today rushing through my memory...the train, the fight...the fall.

I fell off a god damn train! How am I waking up? Did Stevie catch me after all? Was it just a bad dream? Where the hell _am_ I anyway?

Sitting up I notice four dead bodies few steps away from me, each with a bullet buried in their skull. Did I... _what_?!

I tighten my grip around the pistol in my hand...my _hand_. My very much heavy, metal hand!

I drop the strange looking gun and scurry away from the corpses, trying to make sense of the situation. Nothing about this makes any sense though, I should be dead! Instead I'm who knows where and I've got a metal god damn arm!

Through the panicked ringing in my ears I can make out the sounds of a fight outside of the building. Bullets wheezing through the air, explosions rocking the ground, screams and shouts. I curl up by the wall I backed into, not knowing what to do. Nothing makes sense anymore, so I wait. Can't tell for how long, but eventually the battle fades out and for a while the intimidating, large building falls into tense silence.

The main door flies open, momentarily blinding me by the outside light, so I can only distinguish three figures stepping inside. Two I don't recognize, but the first one...the first one I would recognize anywhere, blinded or not.

"Steve?" I chance it, squinting at the large figure holding onto the unmistakable round shield.

He steps slowly into the building, blocking the intruding light with his broad frame. "Bucky?" He asks carefully, pulling down his helm. His face is scrunched up by a frown and what I can only translate as a hopeful expression.

His two companions - a redhead in tight black apparel and a guy in strange shoulder armor - move alongside him, watching me wearily.

"What's going on?" I ask, seeing their hesitance to move any closer to me. I realize it must be because of the four dead men still lying nearby.

"What...what do you remember, Bucky?"

"It's all a bit fuzzy...I dunno what to believe."

That punk dares to bring up his mother hen worried face and I immediately regret answering so truthfully.

"I mean...I'm pretty sure we fought some HYDRA agents in a train...that I most definitely fell out of, but after that..." I trail off, hoping he might fill me in on the rest, but if he looked worried before, now he's this close to a panic.

"You...you don't remember anything after the train?" He blurts out, exchanging a brief look with the black clad woman.

"No...? What did I miss?" I try smiling lightheartedly, but it only seems to make things worse, because the woman pierces me with a deathly, calculating glare.

"Might be the programming...locking the information away? Or he's just lying to gain our trust," she says and to my absolute surprise, Steve nods.

"Do you know what year is it?" He asks, tightening the grip on his shield.

"1944...ish? I don't know what's going on...look, the last thing I remember is that mission to…what was it…get Zola? I…I remember the cold, the falling...and suddenly I wake up here - wherever here is - there are four dead guys over there, I've got this...this metal hand here and outside sounds like there's war raining down on the Earth so...if you could tell me what the hell happened, you punk, it'd be great!" I bark out impatiently, but with the good old playful tone I reserve for situations like this.

He raises his eyebrows, once again sharing a pointed look with the redhead. "That...sounds like Bucky to me."

The fuck is that supposed to mean?! What _am_ I looking like? Churchill?

She doesn't look impressed though. "Докладывай, Зимний Солдат!" she tells me expectantly but all I can do is stare at her blankly.

"Uh...what? I don't speak...was that Russian? I don't speak Russian, sorry."

That finally seems to break the spell and even she looks all confused now. "If he was the Winter Soldier, he would have reacted to this," she whispers to Steve and...I can hear it loud and clear...from all the way here. What the...

"He could be sleepin'," the other guy cuts in, watching me suspiciously. "The Soldier, I mean. The programming could be kicking in and out..."

"Unlikely," she shakes her head. "If the programming kicked off then he would have remembered _some_ things from those instances. But he says he's stuck in the Second World War."

"Aren't we all?" I can't help but chuckle, even though I'm once again being glared at. "Steve, for fuck's sake, what's going on?!"

He takes a breath and starts explaining.

 

**###**

 

  1. It's 2000 fucking 16, war is over...kinda, Steve is a part of some superhero thing and I've apparently spent the past eighty years as a deadly HYDRA assassin.



I'm sitting at the back of what they called _the quinjet_ and I would be trying to pinch myself awake or start realizing I'm dead and this is some weird kind of an afterlife joke but...their story is making sense, unlike my foggy memory.

It's been like ten minutes and we are already in New York. From Maine...we crossed the distance from _Maine_ to _New York_ in fifteen minutes, now _that_ sounds like something from 2016...no flying cars, but hell I'll take this over flying cars any day. I'm sure Stark has his hands in this anyway.

Shit...is the guy even alive still? And...the Commandos...Agent Carter? Shit...they're all dead, aren't they? Everyone we’ve known…

As we touchdown in the middle of a forest clearing and the woman...Natasha...leads me outside with Steve and uh...Stan? Sam?...close behind, we are approached by a number of other...weird... people, exiting from the big, more than modern looking... _futuristic looking_ base.

"Captain?" The eye patch guy greets Steve and gives me the stink eye. Why is everyone doing _that_?!

Oh yeah, HYDRA assassin here. Or so they say.

"He's safe," Steve informs him succinctly but once again he's met with unimpressed looks all around.

"I think so too. Tried a trigger on him, it didn't work," Natasha says, sounding like she still doesn't believe it herself.

"There is a way we can find out for sure," Steve announces and gives a pleading look to a young woman standing next to a...bald, red weirdo in a cape.

"You said no mind intruding," she retorts in a foreign accent.

"Unless...I said _unless_...the situation requires it. I'd say the situation does require it now."

"If he's okay with it?"

Steve turns to me with a reassuring smile. "This is Wanda...remember? I told you about her bef - "

"The Scarlett Witch...the one with the funky magic stuff."

Finally, they all chuckle instead of glaring at me and Steve nods. "Yeah, that one. She will kinda...look into your mind? To see if the Winter Soldier is still around? That okay with ya?"

Right...the Winter Soldier. I think I'd know if there was something like that lurking in my head, thank you very much...but if I don't let her check, I guess they won’t take my word for it. "Sure. Knock yourself out, lady," I wink at the witch, much to Steve's embarrassment.

She zeroes her focus on me, her eyes glowing bright red. Guess that's where the Scarlett part comes in. I can feel it...her presence or...influence. Can't quite describe it, I just know it's there, looking...searching.

After few more moments she comes out of the haze and turns to the eye patch boss lookin’ guy. "He's telling the truth. If he has memories of the past eighty years, he certainly doesn't know about it. As for the Winter Soldier, I couldn't find anything odd or alien hiding or dormant. If the programming was ever there, it is not there now."

I hear Steve breath out...in relief and he clasps my shoulder.

"Well then, now that that's out of the way, I say we give Sergeant Barnes some time to...acclimatize. But don't travel too far, son. We've still got a situation to deal with. You better prepare your friend for it," the boss man adds and leaves along with a uniformed brunette.

"Right...we'll talk about that later, Buck. Don't worry about it. Here, I'll introduce you to the Avengers," he beams and starts doing just that.

The Avengers, the team of superheroes that protect Earth from...well, super villains I guess. Cool bunch Stevie's got here. There's the intimidating ninja Natasha, now much less tense around me since the Scarlett Witch debunked the Winter Soldier persona. Sam, a guy with wings. Fuckin’ flying metal _wings_. Now that's so cool. Clint, a bow and arrow chap with a mischievous glint in his eyes...we gonna understand each other, I think. Vision, the almost alien looking guy that can do...alien kinda stuff and a fellow James, who has a flying metal armor.

Sorry, Sam, but I've got a new favorite. A flying fuckin’ _armor_. Sounds like something Stark would have made instead if that fail car. Apparently there’s also Thor, not so mythical God of Thunder, now somewhere on Asgard and Bruce who turns big, green and scary if he's angry. Sounds like the most unpractical superpower if you ask me - I'd be going big, green and scary a lot. With this punk of a friend, who wouldn't.

Which leaves the last guy, so far silent, simply staying in the back in his fancy lookin’ suit and sunglasses.

"And that would be Tony Stark, the Iron Man. He's not actually made of iron...and the armor isn't either but hey, you remember Howard. As long as it sounds cool, he's game," he gives the man a nervous smile and if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's head over heels in something here.

"Stark, right. I kinda suspected you'd be behind the metal armor James talked about," I admit, giving Howard's son a shy smile, but he is completely ignoring me. Huh…did I lose my charm along with my memories? Damn.

"Hey, nah man, don't call me James. Only my mother calls me that now, I'm Rhodey."

"That your middle-name?"

"Bucky your middle-name?" He shoots back at me and I decide I like this one too. Steve's made some good friends...I'm glad. Just a bit...sad I missed the party. But now that I'm here...

"What's wrong, Tony?" Steve suddenly asks, tinge of worry audible in his voice. "You haven't said a word this entire time...thirty minutes, wow. That's like a record or something," he utters playfully, but when I look at Stark I can tell Steve now knows how I felt just a while ago.

He blatantly glares at Steve and not in the pouty, playful glare...more like the _I just wanna murder you with my bare hands_ kinda glare. Guess I was wrong about the flirty vibe here...unless an angry hate flirting is a thing in the future.

"Don't pay him no mind, he's a punk sometimes. A rude one at that. Just ignore him, mister Stark," I try defusing the sudden stiff atmosphere, but I should have known better after so many fails today.

Stark flinches, like I haven't just _talked_ to him, but _shot_ him in the head or something instead. He doesn't look at me, but I can see his eyes widen behind the red glasses and he doesn't seem mad anymore. The glare slips off into something else. Hurt...fear...heartbreak. So much heartbreak I have to catch myself from gasping. It's right there for just a second but before his face straightens into a painfully emotionless mask it burns into my memory.

I glance at Steve, who is sporting an oblivious, confused frown and doesn't comment on the spray of blatant emotion that crossed his teammate's face. I feel like I might have just stepped into something I didn't wanna step into. But neither of them have anything to say about it, because the next thing I know is that Stark simply turns on his heels and bolts away, not inside the base, but somewhere outside the complex altogether.

Steve just shrugs and assures me that Tony is usually much more cheerful and talkative, but has been having bad days lately.

As he leads me and the team inside the base, I have a million things on my mind right now. About the future, the past, the things I've missed, things I don't remember...yet for some reason the most vivid thing is that one second of absolute devastation that crossed Stark's face when I spoke to him back there.

I don't know why. I don't know the guy. I didn't really know his father either. But there was something about that look...I can't explain. I just know it made me feel like an asshole. Which really doesn't make any sense, all things considered.

So I dismiss the guilty flare in my gut and follow the Avengers inside with a smile instead.

Who the hell is Tony Stark anyway…

 

 

* * *

**[One Hydra Head at a time OST (complete)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wl4UnxMlJY&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmADb71z5dMHp6-peEV5VDig) **

(for those who want to relive the pain through all the music :D)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *buys everyone a round of drinks of their preferred choice to celebrate the finale...and make everyone forget how it ended...* 
> 
> <3


End file.
